All Stressed Out and Someplace To Go

I am stressed. Totally, unequivocally, without question, stressed out of my gourd. My eyes are ready to overflow in rivers if someone looks at me cross-eyed, and I’m suffering one of the worst migraines I’ve had in months.

I have important projects at work that need to be finished yesterday. People are counting on them, and on me to get them done. I’m worried that all of the information I need will not be available in time for me to get the projects finished on time. I’m worried that I will disappoint the people who need me to complete these projects, and what they will think of me if I don’t.

We have a wedding out of town this weekend, and I’m taking the day off tomorrow to finish getting the family ready and to travel there. I have the dress, but no shoes or accessories. No packing has been done, and there is a mountain of laundry to finish before I can even begin that. To top things off, I’m worried about what the other people attending the wedding will think of me, the way I dress, how much I weigh, how I act, how my family looks, and how much money we obviously don’t have.

Whoa.

I know you have NEVER been in this type of situation, right? You are the calm, cool, collected type who always plans ahead, shops ahead, keeps your house in order. You can be ready to leave town at a moment’s notice, because all your laundry is done, your house is spotless, your kids and husband have everything they need, and you have the wherewithal to make sure everything runs smoothly. You never worry about what others think of you, because you are self-confident, self-assured, and have it all together.

Would you adopt me? ............... Please?

Granted, a true WOMAN OF GOD would not worry about what others think. She’d be satisfied to know that she is accepted and loved by her Heavenly Father, and that would be enough. She’d be a true Proverbs 31 woman, prepared for anything.

She isn’t me.

I’m fallible. I procrastinate. I have issues with (insert any number of things here). I’m insecure. And I could really, really, REALLY use a good cry about now.

So what am I going to do? I’m glad you asked.

I’m getting real with myself. I got myself into this, and I will deal with it, one step at a time. Here and now the self-pity stops. I’m picking myself up by the bootstraps, and I’m getting to work.

But first? I’m calling on Someone to help. You may know Him. He’s a good friend of mine.

He’s the GOD OF THE UNIVERSE.

Because this frazzled, crazed, out-of-touch-with-Him woman needs some sanity. Some peace. Some calm. Some acceptance. Some love.

And the only place to get it lies in HIM.

And when all of this is over? I will have a really, really, REALLY good cry. Yup. Because, after all, even a Proverbs 31 woman enjoys one of those every now and then, right?

I thought so.

1 Peter 5:7

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about what happens to you.

New Living Translation © 1996 Tyndale Charitable Trust

Ephesians 2:14

For He Himself is our peace, who has made both one, and has broken down the middle wall of separation...

New King James Version © 1982 Thomas Nelson

Dry Bones

It's been pretty dry lately. The well seems to be empty. Parched. Dusty.

That's not how it is weather-wise. We've been having some nice, soaking rain here for the past couple of days. What I'm talking about is the state of my heart.

I've had a hard time writing about anything lately, much less anything that has to do with God. I've been wondering why it's been so difficult to put on paper what my heart has to say, and I finally figured it out.

My heart is empty.

I had to ask myself why. Why is it that with a God so loving, so kind, so gracious, so sovereign and majestic...why is it that I have nothing to say about Him? I know that I love Him. I know that He loves me. I know there are things He wants me to say, things He wants me to write, things He wants me to tell others about.

So why won't He give me the words?

I had to look back over time to really get a clearer picture. What was different? What was getting in the way of my relationship with my Father? Why wasn't my heart aching to know Him more, to love Him more, to do anything I could to draw closer to Him? Why had my times of worship become more a show for others and less about honoring the God who created me? Why was it that He felt so far away?

The answer wasn't pretty.

When I first fell in love with my husband, I wanted to spend all of my waking hours with him. I wanted to find out everything I could about him. I wanted to hear about anything that was important to him and I wanted to please him in every way I could. I wanted to become a part of him and have him become a part of me. I wanted the two of us to become one.

That feeling faded over the years, because I started taking our life together for granted. I thought I knew all there was to know about my husband. His likes, his dislikes, his habits, his desires, his dreams. All of that I thought I knew. After all, we've been married for sixteen years. What could there possibly be that I don't know about him by now? Why should I put effort into learning any more about someone I obviously know so intimately?

I couldn't have been more wrong.

You see, if you love someone as I love him, you delve deeper. You develop the relationship even more over time. You take the time to show him that he's just as important to you today as he was when you first fell in love. Time to discuss and learn even more, time to forge stronger bonds. Time to nurture your connection. Time to not only become one, but time to remain one.

My relationship with God is no different. From the moment we met I wanted to know all I could about Him. What His desires were, how I could please Him, how He wanted me to live this life here on earth. I wanted to know His most secret thoughts. I wanted to become one with Him and to develop a love that could not be broken. I wanted to have a relationship with Him that would surpass any other here on earth. I wanted to know that I was His and He was mine, forever and always.

Over time I have come to take that relationship for granted. You'd think I would learn, but it seems I'm a slow study in this department. I keep making the same mistakes over and over again.

I know that God loves me. I know that as sure as I know anything on this earth. I also know He cares about me enough to draw me closer to Him through any means possible. Sometimes that means getting my attention by a holy 2 X 4 up beside the head. Other times it means getting my attention in another way.

Silence.

The kind of silence that leaves you yearning for words. The deep, aching silence you hear that makes you stop and think. The silence you feel inside an empty heart. It's louder than any alarm.

When I stop hearing from God, it doesn't take long for me to figure out what's wrong. I know that He hasn't lost His love for me, or His longing for me to be with Him. He hasn't changed. He's still the same God I fell in love with in the beginning.

The problem lies with me. My lack of caring enough to spend time with Him, my callous attitude, my ignoring the need for time spent listening to Him through His Word, and my disregard of the purposeful development of our relationship.

I have to change. I have to take the steps necessary to bring our relationship back to what it once was. I have to make the move. I want to know Him again. I want to hear His voice. I want to worship Him in TRUTH. I want to feel His Spirit afresh and anew.

I want to fall in love with Him all over again.

Lord, forgive me for letting my love for You become an everyday thing. Help me to realize the importance of prayer, spending time alone with You, and learning from Your Word. I want to draw close to You again, Lord. Help me to know Your heart. Help me to love You as you deserve to be loved, for who and what You are.

Psalm 63:1
O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, In a dry and weary land where there is no water. New American Standard Bible © 1995 Lockman Foundation

It's All In The Way You See It

It's funny how I can fool myself.

I have never been under the illusion that I was anywhere near tall. Never. I've always been "height-challenged," as we short people say. At a little over 5' 4", I find the only people I tend to intimidate are kindergarteners. But somehow I have this self-image problem that makes me think I'm taller than I really am. Oh, not that I think I can reach the stuff on the top shelf or anything, but in other ways.

I am always surprised - ALWAYS - when I hug someone who is taller than I am and they have to bend over to hug back. For some reason or another I seem to think my shoulders are just as high up as theirs, even if my head isn't. It really comes into play when the Arts Team circles up to pray before a service at church. Some of the guys on the team are pretty lengthy. Put me next to one of those and for the life of me I cannot seem to understand why it is that my neck and his waist are on the same level.

The same goes for my weight. I can look at myself in the mirror one day and wonder who that gorgeous, long-legged, slim, svelte, gee-I-don't-look-so-bad-for-almost-50 person is, but the next day my inner critic will take over. It's then that I see someone who should not be allowed outdoors. On those days I fear small children will run in terror at my unintentional impersonation of a giant version of the STAYPUFT MARSHMALLOW WOMAN.

Perception is a very strange thing.

Many times I think I mentally alter the way I see myself and the things that affect me in order to stay sane. Maybe it's because I may not be able to face the truth about what I see or know for fear it will hurt too much. It could be that I just don't want to admit how dirty the house actually is, or how fat I really am, or how bad that color truly looks on the walls, so I candy-coat it in my mind. After all, if I face the truth about how things really are, then I'll be forced to make a decision. Either fix it, or live with it in the deplorable state it's truly become. And a GOOD Christian wouldn't live with things that way, now would she?

Pack my bags, I'm going on a guilt trip!

So I deceive myself. I try to think of myself as better than I really am. I lie to myself in order to continue living in what has become my own little world. My own little perfect world.

But God has other ideas.

Because He is God, He has no use for lies. Truth is the blue plate special, and if you don't order it, you're not eating. He doesn't paint pretty pictures to cover what is bad. At the same time, He shines light on the darkness of things that aren't as bad as I make them out to be. He lets me see things as they really are if I just ask. He alone can strip away the fear I have of facing myself as I really am. He alone can help me to both see and deal with the truth. He alone can save me from my biggest enemy...myself.

In the end, I will still be short. There's nothing I can do to change that. I accept the fact that I'm overweight. I'm working to change that. My house is dirty. I'm still not ready to deal with that, but at least I can see the truth.

But I gotta tell you....those green walls have GOT to GO!


Psalm 51:6
Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being, And in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom.
New American Standard Bible © 1995 Lockman Foundation

Psalm 86:11
Teach me your ways, O Lord, that I may live according to your truth! Grant me purity of heart, that I may honor you.
New Living Translation © 1996 Tyndale Charitable Trust

Waiting to be Written

My daughter begins her first year of high school tomorrow.

She is excited, she is anxious, she is fearful of the unknown. There were times of near tears when she discovered she didn't really know how things were going to work; what the plan was, how her day was going to go. Where on earth is the bus stop? What time do I eat lunch? What if everyone thinks I'm a dork because.....

Her future is a blank page, waiting for life to happen. The joys, the pains, and the events of a lifetime are about to begin for her. Her memories are about to be written.

It's an awesome responsibility, given the things that happen over the next few short years may well affect her for the rest of her lifetime. As her mother, I want to shield her from all the bad things she will encounter, just as I did when she was small. At the same time, I can't wait to see how she blossoms and grows through this to be the woman God intended her to be. I am afraid for her, yet I want to push her into this new world at the same time. I want her to learn to stand on her own, to have confidence in herself, to be able to succeed and know who she is. To have the joy, she must also feel the pain.

I have to trust in the promises of God for my child.

God, please guide her in every decision she makes. I pray You will draw close to her in times of stress and fear, giving her Your peace and comfort. Help her to know You are there during good times too, celebrating happiness as she does. Remind her that You have been there always and forever, and You will be there always and forever whenever she needs You.

Father, this is our baby. Our little girl. Our precious child. She was Your gift to us, and now she is our gift to You. We give her completely over to Your care.

But we're here if you need us.

Proverbs 22:6
Teach your children to choose the right path, and when they are older, they will remain upon it. New Living Translation © 1996 Tyndale Charitable Trust

Psalm 144:12
May our sons flourish in their youth like well-nurtured plants. May our daughters be like graceful pillars, carved to beautify a palace.
New Living Translation © 1996 Tyndale Charitable Trust

Generations

Today we celebrate the 91st birthday of my sweet mother-in-law.

My mind has a hard time wrapping around this. Not that she's lived to this age; people often live into their 90's. But the wonder for me is in thinking back over all of the things she has witnessed in almost a century of life.

I have a hard enough time grasping the fact that the high school graduates of today have never used a record player or know what a 33 RPM album is, much less an 8-track tape! They can't remember a time when there were no home versions of computers. Telephones have always been touch tone, and I seriously think they'd have a hard time learning how to work the dial on one of the phones I grew up with. Air conditioning in homes and schools is a given.

Black and white televisions are almost non-existent, and if you get less than a gazillion and five channels on your super huge, high definition, surround sound, wide screen, flat, remote control color television you are obviously deprived in some way and in need of some sort of public assistance. Dishes are washed by machines instead of by hand. Coffee is made by drip pots or espresso machines instead of on the stove, and food can be defrosted in the microwave if you forgot to take it out to thaw. Cars are equipped with everything a person could want, including complete entertainment systems.

I used to make fun of my father and his lectures about how hard times were when he was growing up. He would compare my life with his, pointing out how good my life was compared to the hardships he had to face growing up. Although I love him, I have to disagree with him on some things.

I'm sad for my children. Sad about the things they will never know or experience, simply due to the enormous amount of technology and "improvements" in life as we know it today.

I am sad they will never know what it is to experience hot summer days with no air conditioning and the joy of popsicles purchased from the ice cream man. I am sad they missed out on finding a cool shade tree to play under outside when temperatures were in the 90's, using their own imaginations to come up with mountains to climb and dragons to slay, or simply swinging on the swingset for hours on end. I'm sad they won't know the sleepy, lazy feeling of reading a book on a summer day with a cold bottle of grape Nehi and a box fan providing a breeze.

I'm sorry they don't know about singing hymns and silly songs together while doing the dishes, or the arguments because one person tried to dry the just the silverware instead of the pots and pans. I'm sorry they've missed out on watching the coffeepot to make sure it didn't boil over as it percolated. I wish they could have known my grandmother and spent time with her, tending her garden and picking vegetables. I'd love for them to have been on the front porch with us, breaking beans or shelling peas for dinner.

But even though I long for my children to have been able to share the memories of these simple pleasures with me, here's what I've learned: Each generation has its own memories and special times. Each generation has its own stories to tell.

Technology will advance and the the things we find amazing today will seem mundane and outdated twenty years from now. But my children will still have their own special times to remember and tell to their children. They won't be my memories, but their own. People who were special to them, places they love and traditions that hold a special place in their hearts will be passed on to my grandchildren. And when this happens, my children will hold a small, bittersweet piece of their hearts for the times my grandchildren will never know.

Just as I do now. Just as my parents did, and their parents before them. These things never change.

It's comforting to me that my memories will not be forgotten. Even when my mind becomes incapable of remembering, I know that God holds each and every one for me, safe and sound. God is the one thing I can count on, the One who will always be there, who has always been there, and is here even as memories are created. He has lasted from the very first generation onward, and will be here when the last generation ends. He is the one memory that will not fade. He is the One who remains constant, the One who remains faithful throughout all generations and all time.

And for me, that's enough.


Psalm 89:1
I WILL sing of the mercies of the LORD forever; With my mouth will I make known Your faithfulness to all generations. (NKJV)

Psalm 100:5
For the Lord is good. His unfailing love continues forever, and his faithfulness continues to each generation. New Living Translation © 1996 Tyndale Charitable Trust

Food, Glorious Food

My very favorite meal in the whole wide world, bar none, consists of the following:

Pan-fried catfish, fresh-caught from Kings River
Pan-fried taters, nice and really brown
Corn on the cob, fresh-picked and boiled, slathered with butter and salt
Fresh green beans with the life cooked out of 'em, seasoned with a little bacon
Fresh homegrown tomatoes
Hot cornbread (not the sweet kind) with plenty of butter
Pinto beans cooked all day in a big pot
Wilted lettuce (without sugar) with lots of green onions and radishes
Huckleberry cobbler for dessert
Iced Tea with lemon

There's a reason folks with roots in the South many times have weight problems. I'm stuffed just reading that menu, but there was a time when I could and did eat more than my fair share of all of the above.

And I knew it was good.

That's the thing about food. It's a necessity, sure. But it's a gift to us humans as well. We don't feel the same way about anything else on earth as we do about food.

We need air to breathe, yet you don't see people coming up with different recipes or ways to make it more appetizing. We don't even THINK about oxygen. We just keep on breathing in and out, oblivious to the wonders of it. You never hear of someone bloating up with air because they breathed too much, now do you? Nope. Ain't gonna happen.

And what about hearing? I suppose you could argue that music is "ear food," but it just isn't the same. There are no documented cases of anyone emitting gas from their ears because they've listened to too much music. If indeed it did happen, could you imagine the excuses? "Uh, sorry. That Bach fugue was a little too loud." Again, not happening.

I have heard of certain types of people who are known as "eye candy" (Robert Redford), but I've never heard of eye candy (Matthew McConaughey) becoming a detriment to your health. On the contrary, eye candy (George Clooney) may keep those orbs exercised and working well. It certainly won't make them fat. But again, no caloric value.

Last, but not least, there's touch. Now granted, you probably COULD bury yourself in, say, a vat of chocolate pudding just for grins. However, unless the pores of your skin are really suckin' it in that day, chances are you aren't gonna gain a pound. Not through osmosis, anyway. And although it might feel nice and creamy against your skin, I guarantee that if you rub it in and leave it there it's NOT going anywhere. But other people might. Like away from you. Because after all, rubbing chocolate pudding into your skin is just, well, WEIRD.

My point is this.

God gave us food to nourish us. To fill our gas tanks. To provide energy for us so that we can live and move and breathe and touch and smell and see and hear all the goodness around us. He made it for fuel for our bodies.

But God also gave us this wonderful, sensational tasting mechanism. Because of it, we can not only gas up the tank, but enjoy doing it. And enjoy it we do! Again and again and again. Sometimes until we absolutely cannot breathe because we are so stuffed. That's part of what free will is, unfortunately.

But folks, let's face it. God also was smart enough to give us common sense, whether we want to admit it or not. Can you imagine me "enjoying" the type of meal I listed above more than once a year without some major type of heart disease taking place? Now, having parents who were born and raised in the South, meals such as that were common fare as I was growing up. And because I wanted to get more attention from my daddy when I was young, I tried to impress him by eating just as much as I possibly could just as fast as I possibly could at mealtime.

Let's just say I have always been challenged when it comes to both common sense and my weight.

It's taken me all these years to finally learn what God has been trying to patiently teach me all my life in this area. Yes, food is good. But guess what? Here's what food isn't: a reward, a treat, a comfort, a placebo, a pastime, a celebration, or a game. Here's what food is: fuel for my body. Period.

And that's the way it has to be for me.

Because otherwise, you know, I'll end up weighing 564 pounds when I die from heart disease at the young age of 55. And it ain't gonna happen. At least not that way, if I have anything to say about it.

Why did it take so long for me to learn this? Why was I so stubborn? Why did I WASTE all those years I could've been healthy? I have no clue. Just as I have no clue why I waited so long to come around to the fact that I really was a sinner in need of a Savior. Again, why did it take so long for me to learn this? Why was I so stubborn? Why did I WASTE all those years I could've been loving GOD???

I guess those are questions I'll have to get answers to when I see Him face to face. Until then I'll just muddle through, doing the best I can here on earth, trying to use what little common sense I have. Lord, help us all!

And hey, would someone please pass the wilted lettuce?

Philippians 3:13-14
No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. (NLT)

Of Aches and Pains

I am a woman of a certain age. I don't admit that to many people. If you were to actually see me in person, in the flesh as it were, you'd take me for...well, a good year or two younger than I actually am. Really.

Being this age has benefits.

I get to take naps just like I did when I was little, only this time I really enjoy them. I don't have to worry about changing dirty diapers or waking up for 2 a.m. feedings. Teenage acne is no longer a problem for me. Neither are boyfriends, riding a bike, skinned knees or homework.

For these things and so many more, I am truly thankful.

However, being this age also has drawbacks.

For some time now I have noticed little aches and pains creeping into my body that weren't there when I was in my twenties or thirties. As the years go by, the aches seem to increase - both in size and in location. A touch of arthritis in my feet, a back that suddenly goes out, a shoulder that aches from too much use. Knees that complain loudly every time I take the stairs. Pains I never had before are surfacing and remaining. All this from normal activities I took for granted only a few years ago.

Other aches and pains have come into my life as well, but these are mostly from my heart.

I ache to see my family members and friends give their lives totally over to the Lord. I yearn to see them grow in Him, to want to serve Him and love Him fully. I ache for the time when He returns. My heart so longs to be with Him! I hurt for those who still don't realize what a wonderful gift is waiting for them, if only they would take it. I ache for those who have not heard. I am pained to know that I cause the Father grief when I sin. I suffer for those who cannot let go of anger and despair in their lives.

But for each and every ache and pain I suffer, whether physical or spiritual, I know this; what we are going through here, this little speck of time in the plane of eternity, is nothing - ABSOLUTELY NOTHING - compared to the glorious, wonderful, fantasmagorious ETERNAL life we have yet to live!

FOREVER.

With GOD.

All of those little aches and pains will be things of the past in my new body. All the worries about my family, my friends, the lost, my sin...gone. I'll spend my days in worship of my King!

And the music...can you just imagine the music?

Do me a favor right now. Close your eyes and blot out anything that's happening around you. Just ask God to reveal to you a tiny, tiny bit of what it might be like. What are the sounds? What do you see yourself doing? What are your surroundings? Open your mind to the possibilities!

How do YOU imagine Heaven to be?

Romans 8:18
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.
New American Standard Bible © 1995 Lockman Foundation

Revelation 21:4
He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
New International Version © 1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society

Just Call Me Queen

You may not realize it, but you are in the presence of royalty at this very moment.

No, no...no need to bow or curtsy! There's no way you could have known. We try not to flaunt it, but there are times when those of us who are to the manor born simply cannot contain the blueness of our blood. It comes out at the most inopportune of times, leaving the poor peasant people of the realm in awe and wonder that we've kept it secret for so long.

What's that you say? Where is my kingdom? What country do I rule? Silly, silly person! Isn't it evident?

I AM THE QUEEN OF PROCRASTINATION!

The motto of our land is "Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow?" I have lived by that motto for the greatest part of my life.

I ascended the throne at a tender age. I began by not wanting to go to bed on time, and as I got just a bit older it escalated to waiting until I almost had accidents before making a trip to the bathroom.

Since I love to read, reading often became the pastime that took the place of other things I should have been doing...such as taking a bath. When I was in grade school my mother would run a bath for me and tell me to get in. I would dutifully obey her. Of course, I would have a book with me all the time I was in the bathroom. Carefully sliding into the water, I'd make sure not to get my hands or the pages of the book wet. I'd happily sit there for as long as she'd let me, no soap involved. When she banged on the door to tell me to get out, I would; just as dirty as when I went in. She never could figure out why I always lacked that squeaky clean smell I was supposed to have after bathing. When I asked her about it years later she told me she just chalked it up to a defective gene from my father's side of the family, so the only thing she could do was to love me the way I was...stench and all. What a woman!

My weapon of choice in the battle against getting things done as an adult is the computer. I am able to spend countless hours furthering the cause of doing nothing until the last minute, while at the same time justifying it. "I'm researching stuff...important stuff," I say. "Just one more round of this game and I'll get that done," I think. "Gotta keep that hand/eye coordination thing going at my age," I reason with myself. Convincing myself it's all for the greater good, I sometimes stay up until the wee hours of the morning doing just these things. Forget about laundry, fixing dinner, dusting...all those mundane things must be pushed aside while I am in pursuit of world peace, a new recipe, or the latest find on ebay!

To date one of my top procrastinatory feats has been my inabiltiy to finish my bachelor's degree. This one has a myriad of reasons attached, all with their own merit. At first I stopped taking classes because I didn't have time. Then I started dropping classes when I knew I was going to get less than an "A" for a grade. Then I had more children, then I decided it really wasn't worth it, then I took a few more classes, dropped a few more, and so on, and so on, and so on. As it stands now I have one class left to take in order to get my associate's degree. A TWO-YEAR DEGREE. It's been that way now for ten years. My current excuse is that we can't afford it. I figure I can probably stretch this one out until I reach the age of 65, at which point I can take classes for free. Of course, the degree won't mean diddly squat then, but hey - I'll at least HAVE one...or not.

My current dilemna has to do with clothing. Having lost around 40 pounds in the last year, I now find myself with few articles of attire that actually fit. In three weeks my stepson is getting married. I have to have a dress for the occasion.

I wonder what I could find on ebay....

It certainly is a good thing God's kingdom is not like mine. What if He'd waited to send Jesus? What if He had better things to do than make certain our eternal souls would live forever with Him? What if He decided to sculpt another mountain or even create another universe instead of inspiring the writers of the Bible? Where would we be?

That's not something I want to think about. But here is something I HAVE to think about. What is my lifestyle showing others about God? Because I put off things until the last minute, does that tell others it's OK? And (work with me here) is that the message I want to give to those who have not accepted Christ as Lord and Savior of their lives? Am I telling them by my actions, "Hey, put it off as long as you can. There's always tomorrow!"?

My laundry somehow loses all significance in comparison.

Father, change me. Help me to see the way I act can affect the way others see You, because I am Your hands and feet here on earth. Forgive my laziness, Lord. Help me to DO rather than PUT OFF. Put action in my bones, Lord!

2 Corinthians 6:2

For God says, "At just the right time, I heard you. On the day of salvation, I helped you." Indeed, God is ready to help you right now. Today is the day of salvation.

New Living Translation © 1996 Tyndale Charitable Trust

Hebrews 6:12

We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.
New Living Translation © 1996 Tyndale Charitable Trust

A Reluctant Student

It’s been one of those days.

You know the ones I’m talking about. The days when you just can’t get your mind focused on anything long enough to actually accomplish a task. The days when you wonder why you didn’t just stay in that nice, warm, cozy, comfy, snuggly bed, under those nice, warm, cozy, comfy, snuggly covers. The days you pray for rain, cold temperatures, a roaring fire, the quilt your grandmother made, and a really good book.

And quiet. Lots of quiet.

At 100 degrees today is anything but cold, and we haven’t seen rain for a while. If I lit a fire in the fireplace I’m afraid the spousal unit would have the nice men in white coats out after me in short order. He still thinks I’m a bit of a strange ranger for wanting to turn the air conditioning down to 68 degrees so that I can be comfortable turning my heated mattress pad up on high. He just doesn’t get the “snuggle thing” that I have.

Along with the high temperatures and the inability to focus has come a dry spell with my writing. Like the ground outside, my mind has become like that parched, cracked earth, just waiting for showers of inspiration from the Father.

At the same time I yearn for inspiration, I hesitate to actually ask for it. For when I ask, I know it means some sort of teaching is involved. To actually say those words “Teach me, Lord,” is a scary thing. I’ve done that before. Learning what He wants to teach me may involve experiencing things that can be less than pleasant on my part. Learning what He wants to teach me may involve going through times that may test my faith. Learning what He wants to teach me can be downright hard.

The bad part about it is that I just can’t have someone else do the learning for me. It doesn’t ring true if I write about what my neighbor learned from God. It seems hollow somehow. Distant. Fake. It seems as though I’m too involved with my own life to worry about what God has to say to ME. It seems like I couldn't care less about what God’s input is. “OK God, I’ve got it from here,” I seem to be saying. “After all, I’ve done such a great job by myself up until now, right?”

Wrong. Dead wrong.

Up until He came along I managed to screw things up pretty much any way I could. Even after He came along I had to learn things the hard way. Always wanting to retain control, I had to be constantly reminded of how very little control I actually had. Always wanting to be in charge of my life so that I could have the freedom to do as I pleased, I had to learn to give up my life to gain the true freedom that only He could give. Battles were fought within and without, until I finally surrendered - and won the victory.

So what will it be this time, Lord? What mountain will we climb together? What crevasse will we jump? What new land will we conquer in Your name?

Lead on!

TEACH ME, LORD.


Psalm 86:11
Teach me your ways, O Lord, that I may live according to your truth! Grant me purity of heart, that I may honor you.
New Living Translation © 1996 Tyndale Charitable Trust

This Rice Must Suffice

In January of this year I started on a lifestyle change. A new way of eating was introduced to my body. I went into it willingly, joyfully, with great hope and an outlook for a bright, healthier future for me and my family. I was confident that I could achieve my goal and was enthusiastic about the success I knew would be ahead. I was determined to happily make every sacrifice necessary, exercise every moment necessary, and count every calorie necessary without deviating from the plan to become the person God meant me to be. I was content to follow this plan for the rest of my life.

And if you believe all of that, I've got some prime bottom land in the Mojave I'd like to talk with you about....

In reality, I had to be dragged into this kicking and screaming. I acted like I was two instead of almost fifty. I only signed up for six weeks to begin with because I was promised I could back out after that.

So much for joy and willingness, eh?

God had been speaking to me for several years about the extra weight I'd been carrying around. I kept ignoring Him, trying to ignore the fact that I was - let's call it like it is - FAT.

God is not someone you want to ignore.

If I went through with this, it would be admitting not only to Him but to myself that I actually HAD a problem. That there actually WAS sin in my life. Something I'd have to deal with. Something I'd have to confess, and something I'd have to work to overcome. I could either ignore God and face the consequences, or put on my big girl panties and face facts.

So I did it.

It hasn't all been easy, but it has been worth it. I haven't reached my goal, but I am a good ways along the way. I no longer eat sugar, white flour, or fried foods. I do eat a lot more fresh vegetables and fruit, whole grains, and breakfast. I've learned more about myself and why I stuffed my face full of food instead of dealing with my emotions and boredom, and I've learned more about the grace and character of God. I've learned about His forgiveness, His love, His patience, and His everlasting presence in my life.

For that and so much more I'm ever thankful.

I still have a long way to go, but this is sure. I WILL NOT return to that petulant two-year-old I once was. I lost her along with the first forty pounds. I can't wait to see what happens with the next forty!

The one thing I have NOT learned, however, is how to cook brown rice. Lunch today was, well...interesting. There's nothing like rice and beans, especially when you have to crunch your way through the rice. Rachael Ray I ain't.

But the big girl panties fit just fine.


Romans 6:16-17
Don't you realize that you become the slave of whatever you choose to obey? You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God, which leads to righteous living. Thank God! Once you were slaves of sin, but now you wholeheartedly obey this teaching we have given you. (NLT)

Righteously Tanked

I'VE GOT GAS!

"Thanks for sharing," you say, "but I honestly, really don't need to hear about the inner workings of your digestive tract just now. Best just to get the Pepto and keep quiet, eh?"

But you don't understand. I have to tell someone. It's like I just bought a new couch, or a new refrigerator, or new drapes or something!

IT'S A MAJOR PURCHASE.

It's come down to that. Sad though it may be, making that trek to QuikTrip to buy gasoline has become second only to the trip to the grocery store.

CAN I GET AN AMEN???

WAY back in the 70's, when I first started driving, we owned a huge, gigantic tanker of a car. A 1973 Plymouth Fury II. Metallic Brown on the outside, Harvest Gold on the inside. That thing would run over a herd of elephants and come out without a scratch. When I was sixteen, being as stupid as most teenagers can be, I decided to see exactly how fast it could go on a hilly side street by my house. Of course, I lost control of the car and ended up jumping a ditch and running into a woodpile...at 55 miles per hour. In a 25 miles per hour zone. One block from an elementary school. It was only by the grace of God I wasn't killed or didn't kill someone. The Tank? It was fine.

The Tank drank a LOT of gas. Back in the 70's we had what was then called an "energy crisis" and what they're now calling something else. Gas went up, and I found myself sorely limited on my Dairy Queen part-time earnings of $1.10 an hour. I vowed I would NEVER pay over $.59 a gallon for gas.

FAMOUS LAST WORDS.

Last night my husband, sweet thing that he is, filled up the car for me. My little thirteen gallon Tankette guzzled up over $35.00 worth of that nectar of the east. At a mere $2.96 per gallon in our part of the country, it's a steal. Which is what we might have to do in order to feed our habit.

My husband is hurt the most by all of this. Being a self-employed newspaper carrier, he has to supply not only his own vehicle, but the fuel as well. Because of this our income has diminished by a full third since prices have skyrocketed. Belts that were tight to begin with are now looped around us twice. Corners that were cut before have become flat edges. There's no more fat to trim.

In all of this God has been ever faithful. He's kept everyone healthy. We've never gone hungry. We've never gone without something we needed. We've always been blessed by just enough, just in time. Cars, appliances, and plumbing are all in working order. There have been no unexpected bills, and some we have expected have miraculously been paid already. God has provided. God continues to provide. God will provide.

And we are in awe of His goodness.

Philippians 4:4-7,
Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon. Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:19
And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.
New International Version © 1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society