Thursday, June 13, 2013
Monster vs Peanut Butter
The RA Monster is back at it again.
It is 1:30 a.m., and I have been up and down three times already. I'm wide awake, even with my friend Ambien. If you were to ask me what the one word was that described how I'd like to feel right now, it would definitely be "ASLEEP."
Despite the liberal use of lidoderm patches and Tylenol 3, it seems the Monster has other ideas.
So I did what I always do when it rears the ugly head it has...I eat. Eating has always been the comfort go-to that I have, and the peanut butter sandwich is my poison of choice.
It's kind of like a baby with a bottle. If the baby has hunger pain, nine times out of ten it will want a bottle. The bottle takes away the pain, so the baby associates the bottle with feeling better. That's me and the peanut butter sandwich.
When I was in my prime, way back in my elementary school years, there was a boy in my class who brought his lunch every day. And each and every day of the school year, he ate...you guessed it...the peanut butter sandwich. Every single lunch, every single day.
He ended up being a murderer and is now incarcerated for life.
So, to draw a conclusion from this: PEANUT BUTTER x INFINITY = PRISON. RA x PEANUT BUTTER = COMFORT, therefor COMFORT = PRISON.
There is a reason I almost failed Algebra. Several times, in fact.