And now, another adventure in Insomnia, the Little Sleep That I Forgot.
When last we left this place, the 3 Ayem Blues played obnoxiously in the background as our heroine clawed at her eyelids, trying valiantly to close them over her bleary, red-rimmed eyes.
"AAAArrrrrggghhhh!" said she. "Will I never sleep again???!!!???"
The next night, after fervent prayer and medication, she slept for seven hours straight. She awakened fresh, early, and ready to face the day!
And then she fell into a stupor around 8 p.m. and dragged her weary bones up to Slumberland. But even with fervent prayer and medication and a hot shower and white noise and warm milk and relaxation CDs, she slept only four hours.
The third night, there was again fervent prayer and medication. Unbeknownst to her, she came downstairs only one hour after taking said medication. She proceeded to have a lively conversation with her husband and son, consuming copious amounts of M&Ms and drinking decaf coffee all the while. Her husband, realizing she was actually asleep while all this was happening, sent her to bed. She remained there for the duration of the night.
When today came, she awoke from a bad dream. It seems as though she decided to train herself to drive semi-trailer trucks that hauled cement to different venues. Only she had no idea as to how to get to those venues, nor how to back up the truck/trailer to unload. She ran into a mail truck, coerced a warehouse person into helping her navigate underground tunnels, and basically got the truck stuck down a steep and wide flight of stairs at the end of a long hallway just off of a cruise ship. Her boss had just called to try to find out WHEN THE LOAD WILL BE DELIVERED! WE'RE LATE! when she finally woke up.
Only she didn't really WAKE UP as much as just opened her eyes. Because waking up denotes coherency, and our heroine was anything but coherent this morning. She stumbled down the stairs and had a cup of VERY STRONG coffee, followed by four shots of espresso. Finally, the toothpicks holding her eyelids open could be removed without danger of an eyelid-avalanche.
Thank goodness she has an appointment with the sleep doctor today. Because she is slowly but surely going insane.
Stay tuned for the next episode of...Insomnia, the Little Sleep That I Forgot, coming soon to a blog near you.....