Sunday, February 05, 2012

Open Mouth, Insert Foot

Some day I will invent a lock for my mouth and utilize it whenever I'm in a situation where people don't know me well.

Today I made the mistake of talking with the head of the Storytellers group after church.  I should have stayed away until the writing was judged on its own merit.  She is a sweet, sweet person, but I don't know that she has ever been up against the likes of me in full anxiety mode.  I felt sorry for her, poor thing.  She had that deer-in-the-headlights look before I left her, and rightly so.

It was one of those out-of-body experiences where your mouth keeps on running and your mind is yelling "Stop! STOP! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, STOP!!!!"

But your mouth just keeps rollin' on.

Before I knew what was happening I had confessed my deepest fears and loathsome lack of self-worth to her, stopping blessedly short of asking her to please, please LIKE me.  Oh, and like my writing, too.  Thankfully, I spotted Hubster and took my mouth away from the situation before it could ask her if the jeans I was wearing made me look fat or if I really did look like I was 55 years old.

Of course, she probably now thinks I'm really like that all the time.  She has no idea of the somewhat sane individual that resides in my body under normal circumstances, the one that isn't stressed out over the writing audition process.  And I have no way of assuring her that once I settle down and get into the groove of things I will be less of a mental basket case.  It's something she'll just have to experience.

Love me, love my crazy.  That's how I roll.


Christina said...

Love you, Chris! thanks for taking another risk and sharing your writing with me...I will work on that deer in the headlights look. Actually, it was carrying over from when I learned I had to dance AND sing madonna today!

Linds said...

You know what, I am sure everyone is feeling just the same as you, Chris. I would be a total basket case, and probably on the way to the local padded cell place by now.

And if you are the lady, Christina, then I am applauding your sweet, sweet comment. And if you are, then CHRIS, COME OUT FROM UNDER THE BED NOW!!!!!