I have a new vice.
I knew you were just waiting to hear what the latest one was. After the s'mores went by the wayside and I grew weary of the venti iced mocha nonfat w/whipped, after the hot fudge had been depleted, after the ice cream binge was over, I knew you were just lurking around thinking "What will it be next?" I could feel you breathing in the darkness in anticipation of my newest overload item.
But before I tell you, let me just mention the common thread that has wound its ugly head throughout all of these - CHOCOLATE. It is my downfall. My demise. And it has been since I was small. Mom used to say I'd eat a cow patty if I thought it was chocolate.
The sad thing is, she was probably right.
Did I ever tell you about the time when I was about seven years old and Dad blindfolded me and gave me three different kinds of store-brand ice cream to try? In one bowl was chocolate, one held strawberry, and the third, vanilla. He spoon-fed me bites from different bowls, daring me to tell the difference in taste. Now, given the fact that the store-brand ice cream really didn't HAVE a whole lot of taste besides sweet in the nineteen-sixties, and given the fact that my tongue was frozen after the first few bites and couldn't really taste, he thought he won out when I couldn't tell him the difference between chocolate and vanilla.
He was an evil man.
But I proved him wrong in the long run. When Baskin-Robbins and Haagen Daz came on the scene there was no mistaking vanilla for chocolate, frozen tongue or not. The man could just not admit that I had discerning taste when it came to chocolate.
In the eighties I went on a health kick - don't ask me why. I frequented the health food stores and learned that cocoa was BAD. Carob, on the other hand, was GOOD. And supposedly it tasted JUST LIKE CHOCOLATE. I tried to convince myself of that for a long, long time, but to no avail. I made carob cake, carob cookies, carob this and carob that.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I am here to tell you THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE FOR CHOCOLATE.
Be it Hershey's, Swiss, Bavarian, German, Dark, Milk, in icing, as a dip, in coffee, milk, baked goods, candy, alone or with something else, chocolate is my poison of choice. There is no twelve-step program for chocolate, and even if there were, I doubt there would be many members. You certainly wouldn't find me there.
Which brings us to the latest craze of this crazed woman...chocolate Cokes. No, I don't have one EVERY day, but I do enjoy two or three (or more) a week. And I have a cheap way to get them now. Instead of trips to Sonic every time I get a hankerin' for some of this liquid joy, I now go to QuikTrip. QuikTrip has a sale all summer long on fountain drinks, so I can get a Coke for .49 - less than it would cost for a can of Coke from home. Add some Hershey's chocolate syrup, and it's a cheap thrill.
Of course, it's not for everyone.
But for this chocoholic?
It's just fine.