Monday, July 20, 2009

Hot Cross Fat Lady

I am in a snit.

I have been for most of the day, which has gone surprisingly fast for being a snit-ful day. I'm thinking it may have started with me dreaming about the mice last night and how they were crawling all over me and everything I owned. People kept throwing cats at me, and because I'm allergic to cats I couldn't breathe and then I ran into the bathroom and slammed the door. Of course, the bathroom had glass walls and a glass door, and I had to pee like no one's business. Only I couldn't, because a crowd had gathered to watch. And when I looked to find out why they were all staring at me, I found that I was STARK-STARING BUCK NEKKID. And the mice? They were crawling all over me.

And that scared me so much that I woke up. And I wasn't in any way, shape or form in any kind or any sort of a good mood.

Thankfully, Hubster understood. He offered to pick up a large iced coffee with no sweetener at McDonald's as he picked up his breakfast while I took my shower and got ready for work. My head started pounding again while I was in the shower.

"Great," I thought. "Another day in paradise."

I toweled off, dried my hair, got dressed and headed downstairs. No, The Boy had NOT taken the dirty clothes to the laundry room as he promised he would last night. Yes, there were dirty dishes in the living room from his late-night escapades. And there, right there on the couch, was my teenaged son - sound asleep.

Or at least he acted that way.

Hubster got home with the car and I left, noting the drink in the cup holder. I reached over, took a big swig, and...

...headed directly to McDonald's.

It was sweeter than sugar.

The most irritating part of the whole thing was when I walked in and told them my husband had just been there to pick up a large iced coffee with NO SWEETENER for me and THEY REMEMBERED THE ORDER. But they couldn't fix it correctly?


And the day just went down the hill from there.

I am now having a pity party for one, complete with chocolate Coke that is sweeter than sugar. Because I LIKE my Coke to be sweet, but not my iced coffee. We are having spaghetti tonight, and I am taking my underwire OFF as soon as I hit the door, no matter who is there or what they have to say about it.

Them as don't like it can lump it.

Because really? You don't wanna cross THIS fat lady today.

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