Sunday, December 14, 2008

Bah Humbug

I purchased my first Christmas gift yesterday for this season.

The tree isn't up, there's no holiday cheer, but by golly I've broken the barrier and gotten that far!

Speaking of trees, since we haven't gone to cut one down this year as has been The Tradition Forever Amen, we brought the one from Mom's over here to put up. You know, the pre-lighted, fake tree. The one that has no smell of the forest. The one that says "Merry Fake Christmas! And Oh! Your Mother's Dead!" all over it.

Yep, we're All About The Holiday Cheer here.

So today will mark Day One of the attempt to shovel out the house from six months of utter neglect. Not just the usual neglect, but utter, ugly, dust-covered, can't-see-the-computer-screen-for-all-the-junk-on-the-desk, carpet-stained, scary bathroom, clothes and trash on the floor, don't even talk about the laundry, crunchy linoleum black hole of a house it's become. It's so bad I am ashamed to even pay someone to come in and attempt to right it.

The best case scenario would involve a lighted match and some gasoline. Do cobwebs burn?

So this is how I will be spending my time before Christmas. Making sure there is actually a house underneath all the junk, organizing, cooking, cleaning, and buying and wrapping gifts.

Ho stinkin' ho ho ho.

I'M BACK!!!!!!!!


Mary said...

welcome back - I think?

Just deal with one cobweb at a time - and hide the gasoline.

Linds said...

I sense the feisty spirit is making a comback here.....little by little. (I am using a swiss keyboard here, and they MOVED the letters about!) I declared war on the cobwebs on Friday. My bedroom looked like Miss Haversham's drawing room, as I said. Dire. My Dyson is my best friend. I waved that wand thing about and it sucked up all the cobwebs.
You go girl!
Fake trees lose their fakeness if you look at that tree every morning and think of one happy memory about it each day. That is my challenge for you. Find one memory related to the tree and grin. I expect a report daily!

HeyJules said...

I see that! And don't feel bad...I've been cleaning for the upcoming family members for the past three weeks and I STILL got a mess on my hands. How does that happen? I mean I'm sure I cleaned everything about nine months ago...