The thank-you notes have been written, the sympathy cards have slowed to a trickle, and I have gone back to work. Hugs still come a few a day from co-workers who haven't seen me since I've been back, and I managed to get through the workday without crying for the first time. I'm slowly, very slowly, getting back into the swing of things. Back into real life.
But the fact remains that Mom is dead.
I honestly thought I might get through the entire day today without crying. I was feeling pretty cocky, pretty sure of myself. Then The Girl came in the door from work and told me one of her co-workers had offered her some lotion tonight.
It was the same scent Mom used to buy at this time of year. Every year.
It didn't matter that I hated the scent. It was just a trigger that set things off. And lo, the prideful me fell in a weeping mess yet again.
I'm getting really tired of this. I'm ready for this part to be over. I'd like to be on to the Loving Memories and Fond Laughter now, please.
Sis said someone told her that when his mom died he cried once a day for six weeks, once a week for six months, and once a month for six years. I'd like to be at least in the middle part of that equation, please. NOW.
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance..."
So I'll weep and mourn a little more.
And pardon me if I share it here.