Saturday, February 10, 2007

Planks A Lot

I have a part-time job.

My other job affords me the ability to work for the princely sum I earn at the not-for-profit. It comes in handy when we're trying to make the money stretch to pay the bills, and it affords me some time alone.

I'm a contracter for several different firms. That means I can accept whatever work I want or turn down whatever work I want. I can work when or if I want. I also get no benefits, and I have to pay self-employment taxes and all the expenses that come from what I do. Sometimes the work is easy, and sometimes the work is hard. Sometimes I'm gone for an hour, and other times I'm gone most of the evening.

Last night I was gone for a very, very long time.

I left work yesterday at 4:30 p.m. in order to get to the first part of the job on time. The first part of the job took two hours, then there was a two-hour wait for the second part, which also took two hours. After the job was finished I had to stop by Wal-Mart to pick up a new air filter for the car. All told I didn't get home until well after midnight. And then I had to enter the jobs on the website of the company.

I got to bed around 1:30 a.m. and slept until 11:00 a.m. Needless to say, I'm beat. Tired. And I ain't just whistlin' Dixie here, folks.

Today I had several other jobs to do. The first would take three hours, the second about an hour, and the rest of them totaled up to around three hours. I wasted so much time dreading the fact that I had to do the first one that I had to flake.

Flaking is a term used in my business to say someone has either just not shown up for a job, or they called at the last minute to cancel. Obviously, not showing up is the worst of the two, but neither is good. I cancelled at the last minute because I couldn't meet the deadline. Because I put off leaving until it was too late. Because I didn't want to go.

I think that's called procrastination.

Procrastination is something that tells me I've taken on too much. You see, I have a tendency to want to do it all. I want to grab all the jobs I can that pay the highest amount, even though I may be whacked-out-of-my-gourd tired, and scheduled to the hilt. I want to pay off all of the debt we have NOW. I want to save money. I want to be able to retire before I'm eighty.

I want it all, and I want it now.

And that's when I have to realize that I can't do it. I'm just one person. I can't wipe out a lifetime of debt in a few months, especially on what I make doing a part-time job. I can't keep up this silly pace, neglect my family, and run down my already limited energy.

I have to trust God even more, rather than trying to do it all on my own.

Hmmm.....seems as though I've heard that somewhere before.

So God had to use the Holy Two-By-Four on my hard head once again. Thankfully, He only had to hit me once this time. After fifty years or so, He's managed to teach me that much. And hey, I actually learned!

Well, for the present moment, anyway.

Will that stop me from doing it again? Probably not. But at least I know I have a loving Father who wants the best for me. I know he looks out for me and will do whatever it takes to save me from myself.

Even if it takes a plank up beside the head.

Psalm 9:10
Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Psalm 20:7
Some trust in chariots and some in horses (or themselves!)***, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.

***MY words, not God's!


HeyJules said...

Oh my tired little friend...

I know how much you hate this period of your life and I'd give you a "get out of debt free" card if I had one but you have to remember that debt, like weight loss, doesn't happen over night. It takes time. It's a marathon and not a sprint. It's great that you're working this extra job to help pay for things but where is the rest of the family in this? Anyone else shoveling two jobs? Anyone pitching in babysitting money or taking on odd jobs to help you in this?

Take a deep breath and calm down and remember that God provides all you'll ever need. Take it one step at a time, do what you can when you can and honey, don't forget to relax and enjoy life, k?

Let me know if I can help.

Pilot Mom said...

Remember, my friend, that your job(s) are not the source of your income. God is the source of your income. :)

His Singer said...


Y'all nailed it right on the head, didn't you? :0)

Thanks for reminding me of what I'd forgotten!