Friday, December 01, 2006

It's Cheezy Evil

Ladies and Gentlemen,

let me introduce you to
EVIL INCARNATE.


WHITE CHEDDAR CHEEZ-ITS.


In the past two days, just after the beautific posts about how I had recommitted myself to the weight plan, I was stricken with a jones. A jones so strong that I could not deny it. A jones of HUGE proportion. A jones so intense that I know it had to come from the very pit of that hot place down under.


I HAD TO HAVE WHITE CHEDDAR CHEEZ-ITS.

And not just a few.

I ate the whole box.

Now granted, it was a small box. And I did it over three days. And my son helped a little. But make no mistake about it, the box is history now, and it's my fault.

If I take any solace in this at all, it's that the box is no longer there to tempt me. Not that it really matters when it comes to the lard which has added itself to my hips. These crackers are known as the legal form of crack, according to many sites on the web, due to their addictive taste. As a victim, I would heartily agree.

This is all I have to say about what you should do if you are offered any of these heinous snacks:

Run. Run far, and run fast.

And pity the poor person who offered them to you. They were once just like you.

James 4:7

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

4 comments:

HeyJules said...

Are you kidding me? They are the reason I no longer walk down the cracker aisle in the supermarket. Geez, I had it bad for awhile - making late night runs just so I could make it through the night. Hiding baggies of the stuff inside toilet tanks at work so I could get my fix without having to share them with anyone. Oh yeah...I had it BAD. Those little squares of cheesy goodness almost brought me to destruction.

Thank heavens I found M&M's to take their place or I'd have still been locked in the grip of their sinful deliciousness!!!

Rebekah said...

I can't buy them anymore, either. If they are in the house, I'll eat and eat them - they are that good. I feel your pain on that one.

His Singer said...

And to think I was reeled in by mistake! I went to purchase the ordinary ones for my family, who eat them like...well, candy, and I got the wrong ones. The fam wouldn't touch 'em (they were NEW, you know), so it was up to me. And me. And me some more. And me again and again, until my son started noticing and commenting on how much I was eating. It was clear I needed an intervention, and he provided it.

I hate that.

Pilot Mom said...

Don't you just love these! My niece introduced them to me several years ago...I'm sure that's why I've put on so much weight! ;)