Saturday, March 03, 2012
Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Write a Paragraph
Starbucks and I have a love-hate relationship.
I love their coffee, as long as I don't have to make it. When I do, I hate it. I cannot do the brew. It ends up tasting like swamp water with a little bit of diaper dregs thrown in. Not that I am a connoisseur of the above, but you get the general idea.
I love going into Starbucks with my laptop, getting my oh-so-trendy drink, and sitting down to write. What then, you may ask, do I hate? Let me answer that for you in several parts.
1. I hate professors who hold classes at Starbucks. Rather than buy Starbucks drinks for the entire class, this particular professor brought the class to Starbucks and proceeded to lecture THE ENTIRE PLACE on the BRAIN while I was trying to do important STUFF on my computer like play Monopoly. Because really, who could do something productive like WRITE while learning the inner workings of the hypothalamus and what the difference between an EEG and an MRI is?
2. I hate people who decide to wax loud and long on their feelings about said class after the class leaves while using more than excessively foul language, especially after being glared at by matronly beings who are trying like heck to WRITE A PARAGRAPH now that all the lecturing is over, thankyouverymuch. And yet, the incessant blue fog continued to stream out of their mouths as they derided both professor and students.
3. I hate most of all the fact that I was unable to finish my game of Monopoly because my Starbucks has taken to keeping the temperature only slightly above freezing in the cafe area. It could be because too many professors and students and people who need their mouths washed out with soap tend to hang around there for hours at a time.
It certainly couldn't be the old ladies who play Monopoly.