She of the Blue Teeth

Late last year I decided I needed to get a Bluetooth headset for my cell phone.

You see, Hubster and the kids had this habit of calling me while I was driving. And rather than let the phone ring and answer it when I could, I would use one hand to drive and one hand to search frantically through my huge, unwieldy handbag, trying to find the Thing That Was Ringing.

Nine times out of ten it went to voicemail before I could find it anyway, leaving me clueless as to just exactly which realm of the luggage it had migrated to and what type of homing device I would need to find it. So I came up with an ingenious plan.

I started to make sure my WORK cell phone was always out. Because, in my convoluted mind, if I had my work cell phone out and my personal cell phone started to ring and I was unable to find it before it stopped as I was going 60 MPH down the highway, it would obviously follow that I could CALL MY CELL PHONE WITH MY WORK CELL PHONE SO I COULD FIND IT MORE EASILY.

This, Ladies and Gentlemen, constitutes the innermost workings of my warped sense of logical thinking.

I know.

Failing at finding BOTH cell phones was the next step, and I refused to purchase a third. A girl has to have some limits.

It was then I decided that for the safety of all concerned I should instead purchase one of those hateful things that hang out of your ear, with the understanding that I would use it in the car and in the car only.

I'm not quite sure with whom I was making this deal since I was the only one who knew I was buying the thing, unless you can count the fact that I am just a little more than two bricks short of a load. In which case it makes perfect sense.

So.

I really liked the Bluetooth. I used it well and regularly for the first couple of months, and then it disappeared. I have no idea where it went. It just wasn't here one day.

Well, since Hubster had a wonderful time making fun of my new little safety gizmo, I was hesitant to tell him I had apparently misplaced it. It only cost $15 or so, but it was the fact that I even had it that got to him. He thought it was some fancy-schmancy Wall Street-Hollywood-gee-ain't-I-SPECIAL kind of thing.

So I just replaced it without telling him.

And I went along just fine for about a month, and then the SECOND one disappeared.

Now, I don't usually lose things. Well, I don't usually lose things and not find them. So this has me perplexed.

So I got ANOTHER one at the first of the month. And guess what?

Yup. It's gone.

Third time's the charm for me, folks. I'm headed back to calling my personal phone with my work phone, or a reasonable facsimile thereof. Maybe one of the trio will turn up one of these days. Maybe not.

Until then, has anyone seen my watch?