The Sleep Is Elusive

Tonight is one of those sleeping pill induced posts that may end up making no sense whatsoever, so bear with me.

Because obviously, even though I have taken my friend the Ambien, the sleep, it eludes me.

Fie.

Add to that the fact that Hubster cannot seem to find just the right configuration of pillow, blanket, sheet and mattress in just the right order at just the right time in just the right juxtaposition when the moon is waning and the breeze is blowing just the correct temperature of outside air into the room so that he can fall asleep - and wait! there's just one more adjustment needed on this pillow...

So I gave up and came downstairs.

Fie again.

Because all I've been able to think about tonight is the meeting we went to this evening and the fact that I have reconnected with someone from my past. I keep thinking about things that happened way back when and then things that may happen in the future and my shoulders hunch up around my neck and refuse to relax and what with all the paraphenalia I have in my mouth due to the CPAP machine and the new dental device to keep me from grinding my teeth at night I have no place for my tongue to rest so it's all in an uproar. And the nesting on the other side of the bed goes on and on and on and my tongue screams that it is DRY because I cannot close my mouth with all the gadgetry inside and WHERE IS IT SUPPOSED TO GO??? and the fan whirs its white noise sound and I realize what the problem is.

I have left the MP3 player at work. Therefor, Garrison Keillor cannot tell me bedtime stories and soothe me into sleep. Kimeron Harding cannot ease me into relaxation by helping me drift downstream. I have no Ambient Music to ease my way from awake to dream. Nothing with which to crowd out all the thoughts of the past, present or future.

Oh, fie, fie and fie again.

Tomorrow I shall look like warmed-over oatmeal.

Tomorrow I shall remember to bring home the MP3 player.

Tonight? Tonight is a sad, long, elusive situation.