Having said that, let me also add that Sis and I both went into minor meltdowns prior to and during the event. Sis couldn't get the chocolate pie to thicken and didn't know how to make Mom's dressing. I knew how to make Mom's dressing, but was so tired from cooking for All Those People that I didn't enjoy the holiday at all. I just wanted to go to bed. Sis cooked for her brood and I cooked for ours. We didn't see each other all day.
So when a cross word was lobbed my way, I started crying. Right in the middle of the dinner. Hied myself up to my room, tried to repair the damage, and didn't come back down again for fifteen minutes. Then silently wished everyone would just go home.
No one seemed to realize this was the first Thanksgiving without Mom. No one seemed to care. After all, it was all Hubster's family. She wasn't important to them. And to be fair, after almost a year it shouldn't matter that much, should it?
But it did to me.
Finally everyone left and we slept like cement until the next day. Son, DIL and Cutie came in Friday afternoon and we visited for a while. Then Son asked Cutie if she had anything to tell us.
"HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!" she shouted.
Apparently that wasn't exactly what she was supposed to say. Son whispered in her ear, and she tried again.
"There's a BABY in my mommy's TUMMY!!!" she announced.
That was more like it!
And then Son and DIL asked if we'd bothered to read Cutie's shirt. No, we said.
Her shirt read "BIG SISTERS ARE THE COOLEST" and she'd been wearing it since she walked into the house. What made it even worse was that Sis walked in to visit with them thirty minutes later and the first thing she said was, "What does your shirt say?"
We are bright and shining light bulbs in a dim world, we are.
Cutie got to have a sleepover with us that night. We watched "Up" and only had one "I miss my mommy!" episode. She declared her mommy and daddy always read her FIVE books (she gets three) and she gets a drink of water before bed. But she was so excited that even after thirty minutes of being quiet she still couldn't get to sleep. We gave up until The Girl got home from work and let her handle the situation for the remainder of the evening.
The next morning was chocolate chip pancakes and cartoons, then I left to meet Sis for coffee. Cutie played with The Boy until her parents picked her up to go meet up with Santa.
Sunday was the one year anniversary of Mom's death. I had some time alone to talk with her and God about the whole thing - to set some things straight in my mind. Healing is happening. It just isn't on the schedule I want it to be.