I am in a snit.
If I was an airplane I'd be leaving a black plume of smoke behind me.
If I was on the ground looking up at the black plume of smoke I'd call the EPA and the airline and complain to high heaven, right before I picked a fight with the first person to cross my path.
If I was the person who got an earful from me I'd smack me in the nose right before I kicked a dog.
If I was the dog who just got kicked I'd bite the kicker and then proceed to pee on her leg.
If I was the guy from the pound that picked up the dog for biting and peeing, I'd go out and have a margarita or two right after my shift ended.
If I was the wife of the guy from the pound I would give him the cold shoulder all night because he came home drunk.
And then I could go back to bed and forget the whole day ever happened.
Sounds like a plan to me.