Thursday, August 27, 2009

I Am Not An Addict And If I Say It Enough It Will Be True

I ran out of coffee today at the office.

That's not such a big deal for most people because they can just run down to the grocery store and buy some Folger's or Maxwell House and be done.

But I ran out of K-Cups for the Keurig machine.

Here at work we have a "supplier" who sells us "the stuff" separate from the coffee that goes into the regular machine. Every employee buys their own K-Cups and the "supplier" provides the machine for free.

And I'm here to tell you they are evil. Evil incarnate.

They hook you with a taste test - just a small amount. Then, before you know it, you're trying to score K-Cups from everyone you know. Bed, Bath and Beyond. The 100 K-Cups for an ungodly low price at Amazon. You buy in bulk. You even find yourself starting to promote it to unwary "regular" coffee drinkers. And then they get hooked. And then you buy a home machine to feed your habit even further.

It's an ugly, ugly business.

You vow to take some of your bulk K-Cups to work because you know you're running short. And as you arrive at work you realize you've gone off and left them at home. Then you find you are COMPLETELY OUT and panic sets in.

But you have to have your fix for the day or you won't be able to function. So you go to the HR Department and ask the guy there if he has any to spare. He takes all of his order home every time, so you go upstairs to the Accounting Department. Because you know those accountants use. And they use the HARD STUFF.

For a small price you score two K-Cups. Enough to get you through the day. Enough to open your eyes and put a spring in your step. And you find God is in His Heaven and all is right with the world once again.

And then you vow to kick this monkey you have on your back for good.

But not until you finish another cup.

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