Thursday, July 02, 2009

Rotten Tomatoes - And Kids

The Boy is rotten. And the Pseudo Daughter is just as foul.

However, The Girl is now my shining star and may quite likely inherit my quite considerable fortune and wealth solely.

She alone deigned to weed the tomato plants.

As you may know, I've been a bit under the weather lately. I'm under orders to stay away from the of the out of doors, which pretty much means staying indoors. Since the tomato plants I have are outside it's hard for me to weed them. I suppose it could be accomplished virtually, but then they'd have to be virtual tomato plants and I'd be eating virtual tomatoes come harvest time.

I'm thinking virtual tomatoes aren't too tasty.

Neither are those who have been choked off by weeds.

So I offered The Boy and Pseudo Daughter $5 each to weed the plants. Bear in mind there are FOUR plants. That's $2.50 a plant, for maybe fifteen minutes work. For work that I had to do when I was their age for nuthin'. Only I weeded three or four rows of ten plants each in the hot, hot sun when the ground was baked-hard clay and a hoe would bounce on it.

Of course, I walked four miles to school in six-foot deep snow uphill both ways too, but that's another story.

The point is, they turned me down flat. I thought I was being overly generous, and not only did they turn me down flat, but they tried to get more money out of me. For FIFTEEN MINUTES OF WORK.

So I turned them down. Flat.

Now granted, I could've pulled the "you WILL do this and not get paid and be HAPPY about it" card, but honestly? It wasn't worth it.

So I offered the job to The Girl.

She snapped it up and was happy to do it for what they were going to get. Now they're out the money, she's got it, and my tomatoes are weeded.

And I am a happy camper.

And if The Boy and Pseudo Daughter think they're getting one. single. tomato. off of any of those plants, they have another think coming.

Because I don't get mad.

I get even.

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