Thursday, June 18, 2009

Here, Let Me Just Pull Some Bills Off Of The Money Tree For You

We have always known we would never be able to afford to put the kids through school. It was a given. Neither of us make enough money at our piddly little jobs for that.

Cutie's dad was able to get into school on 100% scholarships the first time. We were indeed blessed. He was, and is, smarter than a whip. Eldest Son and Eldest Daughter were able to get grants to get them through.

But now we're coming down the home stretch.

The Girl went shopping for colleges yesterday and today. There are only three colleges in the state that have her major. One is here in town and accepts 90 students a year. One is in the middle of the state and only accepts 28 students per year. It's a satellite program of the one in town. Both are state universities. Then there's the one all the way across the state that's a private school.

Today I decided to check out the cost of said Palaces of Higher Learning. And yes, I do mean PALACES. Because it is evident that only someone of royal blood would be able to afford to attend these institutions without giving up their firstborn and slaughtering a newborn goat under a full moon whilst chanting "U-M-K-C" over and over and over again.

And even that might not work.

Because, dear Interpeeps, here is the yearly cost of attending this fine establishment....


In American dollars. That includes room and board, books, tuition, fees, incidentals, immunizations, transportation, etc.

It should include a solid-gold Cadillac, in my humble opinion.

In addition, this program The Girl wants to join lasts not the mundane four years, but SIX years. So by the end of this little escapade, she'll be a little over $200,000 in the hole. IF fees don't go up.

Now granted, if she lives at home for the next six years (God help us all...), she could save about $8,000 a year off of that cost.

Gee, then she'd only be $160,000 in the red. Of course, I'd be in the looney bin by then, but hey...

And that's if she goes to school here in town. If she chooses the private school across the state, it runs $24,000 for tuition alone.

To top things off, The Boy will graduate two years after his sister. And Hubster is thinking about retiring. Which means I'll be working until I'm 82 unless we can get some substantial grants, scholarships and loans for these spawnlings of ours.

Anyone got a spare money tree I could harvest for a season? Maybe a bush?

Oh well, it was worth a try.


Linds said...

And I thought it was bad here. David will leave uni after 3 years with a debt of about £20 000. BUT then he is doing a Masters and PhD he tells me. Hahahhahahahhahahaha.Heeheeheeheee hohohohohohohoho.
Find that tree, girl, and I am there too.

Sean said...

what major is she looking at?

Chris said...

That would be Pharmacy.

UMKC has a 6-year program with a satellite program at MU.

When I asked her why she chose that, she said, "It's got bank, I can help people, and I don't have worry about catching what they have."

Pure philanthropy. Sheesh.

Sean said...

If I adopt her, then she gets half off tuition at MU. :-)