Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Don't Eat Yellow Tomatoes

Here it is, almost 6 p.m., and I'm sitting down to blog.

Yes, I should be fixing dinner. Hamburger is in the refrigerator at this very moment calling out my name. I have some sort of Mexican casserole conglomeration in mind that will come together as I make it, much like most of the other meals around here. A little meat, a few beans, some rice, a handful of cheese, some tomatoes and onion.

Because I am nothing if not a Gourmet Family Chef.

After dinner I plan to transplant the four tomato plants I bought this weekend. The Farmer's Almanac says this is the perfect time, so we should have loads and loads of wonderful Better Boy tomatoes shortly after Father's Day. Unless, of course, the squirrel fathers get them before the human father in this household does.

The last time I raised tomatoes the squirrels got a bumper crop. I tried peppermint oil on tongue depressors stuck in the ground all around the plants. I tried sprinkling red pepper flakes around the plants. The only thing I didn't do, and refuse to do, was to sprinkle...um...human liquid waste around the plants.

That would just be too gross for words. And the neighbors would keel over from shock.

And you are so very welcome for that mental picture.

I realize I could procure the necessary substance another way and simply pour it around the plants, but really...who would want to eat the tomatoes after that?

Gack. Uck. Ptooey.

So, if you have any other ideas for squirrel deterrents that don't include peeing in the flower bed, please do let me know. I'm always up for new gardening tips and ideas.

Because somehow, some way, we're going to have home-grown tomatoes this year.

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