In Which I Have No Resolve, Or, Happy New Year, Y'All!

I do not make New Year's resolutions.

Oh, I used to. They always had something to do with losing weight and reading through the Bible in a year. I never accomplished them, so I stopped making them.

You only have to beat this dead horse so long before she finally sees the light.

While I do not make resolutions, it just so happens that there are times when things tend to fall in my my lap. And if that tends to happen at the end of the year sometimes, who am I to refuse the opportunity? Bear with me while I tell you the story of one such thing....

Introspection has always been a good thing for me. It's wanted, it's needed, and without it I tend to go just a little nuts.

More than usually, that is.

I used to be able to go on retreats a couple of times a year to get away from everyone and everything and just concentrate on what mattered most - my relationship with God. Who He is, what He means to me, how I can serve Him better, what I need to do to please Him and develop the relationship between the two of us.

Unfortunately, finances are and have been at a premium around here, and all my avenues for inexpensive retreats have been taken away. My Dad sold a cabin I used. The friend I had in hotel management quit her job. I was left without funds and without a place to go.

The relationship God and I have has suffered this past year. No doubt about that. With the seemingly continued illnesses one right after the other, with family problems, with financial problems, and with the depression that tends to invade all of the above, I have tended to withdraw more than seek Him. At times I've truly not been able to see much past the end of my nose.

So much for a Year of Jubilee.

Oh, don't get me wrong. I haven't gone off the deep end or submerged into the waters of self-pity and depression. Far from it. I'm just tired. Very, very tired. Mentally, spiritually, and physically. And I say this at the end of a week of vacation! Something has got to change.

And it has to be me.

Enter Pioneer Woman.

Now, for those of you who read her, you realize I did not get any Great Spiritual Awakening from reading Confessions of a Pioneer Woman. Great recipes, yes. A great fear of calf nuts, yes. A great connection to the Holy of Holies? Not so much.

But.

A lady from the eastern part of my state commented on PW's blog about monks who make fruitcakes to support themselves in the central part of my state, which led me to that website. That website led me to another website for the Hermitage Spiritual Retreat Center. If you go to this website you will find EXACTLY what I've been looking for since my other avenues of retreat were taken away.

What's more, it's provided at no cost.

The Center simply asks for donations to continue to provide a place for people to connect, refresh, and renew their relationships with God.

In case you've been listening so far, I would fall smack-dab into the middle of that category. In the coming year I fully intend to take advantage of the most excellent gift God tossed in my lap...an opportunity to have a couple of days alone with Him.

An opportunity to fall in love with Him all over again.

I can hardly wait. I've already emailed the Center for information!

God is good.

But as for resolutions....they're for the birds.

Happy 2008 Y'All!

And Now, An Update From Phlegm Central...

During this vacation I have done almost nothing. I was unable to travel to visit my aunt due to yet another bout with my lungs. Since she suffers from advanced scleroderma and is on oxygen 24/7, I would be compromising her health if I went to visit her with ANY type of illness. And since I haven't been able to shake this last bout, I've been holing up in the house all week.

I now have a doctorate from Cough and Hack University.

I have not worn makeup. I HAVE worn the same, tired pair of sweatpants most of the week. I did change t-shirts a couple of times. About as many times as I showered. We won't even talk about the underwear.

Oh, I KID.

What underwear?

The kids are gone out of town with friends until New Year's day. The Boy left last Thursday, and The Girl left yesterday. Lest you think we have become complete hermits, let me assure you we did indeed go out on a date last night - to Cracker Barrel and Wal-Mart.

As you can tell, Hubster and I rock the light fantastic around here.

I have two more days of vacation left. I plan to spend them doing laundry (gasp!) and cleaning house. Maybe. Or not. And then we'll go to Mom's to have blackeyed peas for New Year's day. Because as we all know, the blackeyed peas we ate last New Year's day brought us so very much luck in The Year of Our Lord Twenty-Aught-Seven.

Ahem.

I'm looking at going to the grocery store tomorrow, along with the bank and City Hall. I may use one of the Starbucks gift certificates I got for Christmas while I'm out. I may shop for bargains on Christmas stuff (70% off at Cracker Barrel) and/or other stuff. I may even have lunch out in a nice restaurant. I might go to an antique shop or even a bookstore.

We in the Singer household are nothing if not flexible.

MENTALLY flexible. Forget the physical part.

Tomorrow night Hubster and I will get all dressed up, he in his tuxedo, me in a flowing, sparkly evening gown. We will travel to one of the most exclusive parties in town to celebrate the New Year. We'll feast, drink, and dance the night away. When the clock strikes midnight, we'll kiss passionately before sipping champagne to celebrate. In the wee hours of the morning we'll make our way home, basking in the glow of the evening.

Uh huh. And now for the truth...

Tomorrow night Hubster and I will remain in the same clothes we've been in all week, a stunning ensemble of sweats, jeans, t-shirts, and the odd sock or two. We will travel to Applebee's to pick up Carside-To-Go meals in plastic dinnerware, and carry them home to eat. He will eat his in the comfort of the family room while watching whatever sport happens to be televised, whether it be football or Championship Curling. I will take mine into my lair (the office) and sit in front of the computer as I devour the edibles. Along about 10 p.m. I'll head upstairs to bed after waving and bidding the Hubster a Very Happy New Year. I'll plug in the iPod, take an Ambien to celebrate, and snooze off. Hubster will follow after the news is over, and we'll both snore/cough/snort/grunt our way into 2008.

Gee, don't you wish you were us?

Today we had fun. Tomorrow, a serious post to end the year. Be prepared!

And For An Encore I Just Might Take A Toothbrush To the Grout

Today, Ladies and Gentlemen, I cleaned my bathroom.

Now while this may not bring tears to the eyes of the average soul, it signifies Great and Wondrous Things in my little corner of the world. Yes indeed, GREAT AND WONDROUS THINGS.

You see, for some reason or another, Christmas has become a season of less than joy for me. While I have tons of decorations downstairs, that's exactly where they stayed this year. Downstairs. Nary a strand of tinsel found its way topside. Not a one.

On the day we were supposed to go cut down the tree, the weather called for rain. With a 2-month old granddaughter along, we decided to wait until the next weekend. However, the next weekend I was sick and suffering from an extreme case of insomnia. Since there was another snowstorm called for that afternoon the rest of the family decided to go bright and early to cut the tree. I, being comatose, elected to stay home.

The tree came home, and every so often someone would say, "Hey, let's get the tree up. It's only ___ days until Christmas!" This was, more often than not, met with disdain by the teenaged members of the family. Finally it became a joke, albeit a very sad one. Suffice it to say that this was the first year in all of my 50 that we didn't have a tree for Christmas.

Unless you count the one that resided in the garage, that is.

There was no Spirit of Christmas in our home. There was bickering and fighting and oh-my-word-will-it-ever-be-over. There were very tired people, fighting colds, bronchitis, viruses, and all means of other illness. There was a general aversion to Christmas music, much like vampires to a cross. The happier everyone around us got, the more we wanted to hole up in some cabin somewhere until it was all over.

And then the day came.

The family squabbles were there. The tiredness would not go away. Halfway through we didn't know if we'd make it. But then last night happened.

We met as a family at my brother-in-law's home. There were brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews, cousins, grandparents, grandchildren, all the way from a great-grandother to a 3-month-old. My brother-in-law had just survived successful colon cancer surgery. My 92-year-old mother-in-law was there. All of my children and all of my grandchildren were there. As I walked in the door, the 20-month-old granddaughter smiled at me and yelled "Hi Nana!" melting my heart with her words. I played "chase" with the almost 3-year-old and found the joy I was missing. I got to rock the 3-month old to sleep and experience the love only a grandmother can know.

I looked around that room and realized how incredibly blessed I am to have the family I do. How incredibly blessed I am to be able to see them all in one place at one time! All of my children, close enough to hug and tell them how much they are loved. The blessing of the good health of my mother-in-law and brother-in-law. The love of nieces and nephews. The gift of a wonderful husband.

And how God, in His infinite wisdom, helped me to see all this by showing me both ends of the spectrum...both the worst and best Christmas I ever had.

So today Hubster went to the doctor with his cold/bronchitis. He got enough medicine for both of us to survive. And I took a blow torch, some steel wool and industrial-strength bleach to the bathroom.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

Merry Christmas, Y'all....Merry Christmas.

Just A Little Bit Of Heaven

It's a balmy 34 degrees F (that's 1.1111111 C for you, Linds), meaning the 'ol hairdryer trick actually worked!

Well, either that, or the God thing. Whichever one you choose to believe. :-)

Thank you all for whatever part you chose to play in making sure we survived with power. We appreciate it more than you know...especially after living through a week without it in a previous ice storm!

We are cozy and warm here in our abode. The menfolk are in the kitchen this very minute whipping up a batch of chocolate chip cookies. Last night they baked brownies. It's heartwarming (and behind-widening) to see a father-son team at work in such a culinary endeavor. They mix and they taste and they bake and they look just so dang cute you could pinch their little cheeks!

Oh dear. I AM a grandmother, amn't I?

Tomorrow the weatherman says it will be 29 degrees. If the rain stays stopped, that may or may not mean slick streets to contend with on the way in. The Miracle Maintenance Man has been forewarned of this and will be spreading a liberal amount of ice melt over the parking lot and sidewalks to make sure the working folk have a reasonable chance of making it inside without bodily injury once they reach the parking lot.

The Boy is taking out the first pan of cookies now. I don't need to tell you about the smell, do I? That heady, chocolaty, warm, mouth-watering, let-me-just-jump-right-in-and-drown-in-you-baby smell? Yup, that's my downfall right there. If I couldn't smell them, I'd be just fine. As it is, I'm sunk.

The Girl is doing laundry. Right now she's asking everyone if they've seen her pink polka-dotted underwear. I don't think it's crossed her mind that we don't normally venture into the realms where her pink polka-dotted underwear would habitate. It's too scary a place to think of going, to be quite honest. I mean really, a person could venture into her room and never be found again. It's like some sort of Black Hole or something.

Then there's me. Sitting here, doing what comes naturally. Not cleaning, not paying bills, not giving myself a pedicure. No, none of that nonsense. Instead, I find myself chronicling our lives for your enjoyment and reading pleasure.

And it's just a little bit of Heaven here on earth.

I'm Coming Out Of My Silence Long Enough To Explain Before I'm Silenced Again

The past two weeks or so have taken their toll.

So much so, that at the end of last week I found myself in the state of Beyond Exhaustion. That's located just south of Doing Way Too Much and east of Trying To Please Everyone.

It's not a place you want to visit, much less live.

Last week alone I had a birthday for The Boy, an office decorating contest and shindig, and the BIG office Christmas party. The One I'd Been Planning All Year big. The Stress In A Basket big. The It's All Up To Me So I Can't Blow It big.

And by the end of it all I was melted into a puddle on the floor of my office.

Oh, everything went spectacularly well. I couldn't have asked for better reviews from everyone who attended The Events. But it left me to the point where I couldn't feel my appendages at the end of the week, and I knew if I didn't get some serious R&R in over the weekend there would be a glazed-eyed, drooling, bobble-headed buffoon sitting at my desk come Monday morning.

Well, more so than usual.

So this past weekend I did the following:

I slept.

I ate.

I went to the bathroom.

I watched television.

I napped.

I repeated all of the above.

And I did absolutely nothing else. Nothing at all. I didn't get dressed. I didn't take a shower. I didn't cook, clean, or anything remotely resembling it. I didn't think about work. I vegetated. That was the only thing I did.

And behold, it was good.

Today I felt human again. I was able to concentrate on work and actually interact with human beings on a level other than grunting and gestures. I made progress.

And now, I fear I am to be silenced once again.

This part of the country is due for 1/2 -1" of ice tonight. It's already started coming down, and the streets are slick and dangerous. Power lines will likely go down if this keeps up, meaning our computer service will be gone. Thankfully, due to the tornado we had a few years ago we have very few trees left in the immediate neighborhood to snap the power lines, so it will be just the ice that weighs them down. Not so thankfully, the Hubster has to go out to go to work in this stuff around 3 a.m., and I'll follow suit around 8 a.m.

Prayers for a quick warm-up would be appreciated. That, and if y'all could just step outside with your hairdryers on and aimed this way....

Psssssst!!!!!

Don't tell anyone, but I think today marked the spot where I started to feel more like a human bean rather than a coughing machine.

We'll hold our collective breaths on that though, right?