Monday, September 17, 2007

Because God Made The Ivy Vine, And The Bum To Cure It

The Arm

The Back of The Neck

The Front of The Neck

The Other Parts Will Remain Unpictured...And You Will Thank Me Even As You Forgive My Pasty-White Skin

Bet you'll never guess where I went today!!!

Bet you'll never guess what I got when I went there!!!

Yes folks, it's

Back to the Bum,

your weekly installment of the Singer travels to the doctor's office.

Includes graphic details of underwear cleanliness and wear, as well as which side the inevitable Cure for What Ails You (and we use that term oh! so loosely) goes in. It's suspenseful, it's graphic, it's....

A pain in the bu*t. Both figuratively and literally.

Figuring it up over the past six weeks, I've spent about $150 we don't have on various physical ailment junk JUST FOR ME that's come down the pike. I gotta tell you, I've about had it with this. Thank You, God, for health insurance!

Today's shot featured both a kick-'em-fast-kick-'em-hard steroid for a jump start on the allergic reaction as well as a long-acting one for the eventual drying-up of stuff. I also got some killer cream that actually took the itch away for more than an hour for the first time since last Thursday. Which is a good thing, because the people who sat with me at lunch today at work were really irritated by All The Rubbing I had to do to stay reasonably sane.

And we all know I would NEVER do anything to irritate ANYONE on purpose, right?

heh heh heh heh.

So tomorrow it's off to the races, scarred but hopefully itch-free.

The one good thing that came from this? I found out my chest x-ray is clear without having to wait for a LETTER from the doctor. Apparently he doesn't call if everything's OK...he just leaves you to worry.

The Bum.

8 comments:

Linds said...

I do hope that cream is working...it looks really sore. Commiserations, my friend!

HeyJules said...

Wow. That looks so familiar I can hardly stand to look at it. OUCH!

Just Me said...

Wow...that looks so sore! My heart goes out to you. Glad to hear you've had a short reprieve from scratching...- does antihistamine's help??

martha said...

I thought you said you had a weight problem. You don't look fat in your rashy places most recently shown!

Chris said...

Linds: The cream is an elixir sent from God above. Truly. It works.

Jules: No hurt, just itch.

Just Me: Antihistamine puts me to sleep, so I guess you could say it helps.

Martha: Silly girl! :0) I didn't show you the LOWER half...on purpose. And believe me, there's no skinny about it! :0)

Anonymous said...

If you have a plant of "jewelweed" nearby -- (in the Northeast it grows very near the ivy), break the stems and apply some of the juice to the affected areas -- it worked for me!

Girl Raised in the South said...

I swear you dont realize how terribly you itch til it stops. I generally take prednisone, but then I become an irritable, hyper crazy woman, so I'm very thankful to not have gotten it these past two years. Horrible stuff and sorry to hear youre completely covered in it. xoxox

Linds said...

Hope the poison ivy is history by now!