Teaching Me HIS Ways

***UPDATE BELOW***

I have been blessed.

I have an aunt named Joyce. Because of Joyce, my faith is strong today.

She has helped me to see things I could never see by myself. She taught me to see and appreciate the gifts God has given each of us. She taught me that forgiveness releases me more than it does the person I need to forgive. She taught me to see God everywhere and in all things. She taught me the importance of family.

She showed me what love is.

When I was trying to find out who I was, she was there. She listened. She gave me the godly wisdom I could get nowhere else, but in such a gentle way. Even when I rejected God, she was there to show me His love. When I tried to find Him, she was there to show me who He was. When I sinned and thought He would no longer want me, she was there to assure me of His everlasting grace and unending love for me. When I was deeply hurt by others, she helped me to forgive. When all I could see was the bad in people and situations, she gave me a new perspective and helped me to see the good.

Now is one of those times.

A few years ago Joyce almost died. She had been sick, and the sickness turned into pneumonia. She had to be life-flighted from the small hospital in her town to one in a larger city that was better equipped to handle her case. She was in ICU for weeks and weeks, but through the grace of God she was able to overcome the illness. However, her health had been permanently compromised.

Her stamina got better, but she never seemed to regain all of the vitality she had before the pneumonia. She lost a lot of weight. She had trouble catching her breath after climbing stairs or walking any distance. Eventually she had to start wearing oxygen when she slept. Then she graduated to wearing oxygen 24 hours a day.

There was another hospitalization for pneumonia, though not as prolonged or severe as the last one. It was at this time she was diagnosed with scleroderma. Scleroderma is an autoimmune rheumatic disease that affects connective tissue. Scleroderma actually means "hard skin," which is what the disease produces. In the case of Joyce, the disease is affecting her fingers, but more importantly, her lungs.

As the disease progresses, the tissue in Joyce's lungs has been hardening. Eventually it will become leather-like. As this happens it will become increasingly difficult for her to breathe. More instances of pneumonia are likely. There is nothing that can be done to stop it. And it seems to be progressing quickly.

And I'm scared.

She has recently developed congestive heart failure as well as gallbladder problems. In a person of normal health, the doctor would do a simple surgery to remove the gallbladder. That same surgery cannot be performed on Joyce because she might not survive it.

She's only in her mid-sixties.

God woke me up at 2:30 this morning with an insistence I pray for Joyce. I got on my face before Him and stood in the gap for her in prayer. My prayers for her were and are fervent and heartfelt. Of course, it's MY will that she would be completely healed and not have to suffer through any of this. My will is that she is back to her old self again, ready to go shopping at the drop of a hat, ready to bake those forbidden brownies we both love, ready to stay up late and talk. My will is that she'd be around to a ripe old age and be able to counsel and guide me through the hard times of my life. That's MY will.

But God may see things differently.

For whatever reason He's decided she should walk this path. I don't know His plan in all of this, but I do know one thing. He is good. He loves her. He cares about the suffering she's going through. And there is a reason for it all that only He knows.

She taught me all of this. And I love her. So very much.

So if you get a chance and happen to think of it, would you please pray for her? Not necessarily that she'd be miraculously healed, although that would be wonderful. Just that God would not let her suffer, and might possibly show her His plan in all of this. For that I'd be eternally grateful.

And grateful is what I am now, for being privileged enough to love a woman like her.

Psalm 24:4-5
Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.

***UPDATE: I spoke with Joyce today. The pain she's been having due to what the doctors originally thought was gallbladder is gone. They now believe she may have had a kidney stone and passed it. Thank YOU for praying, and thanks be to God that she didn't have the surgery!***