Monday, October 26, 2015

Down on the Farm

I may or may not have mentioned this, but The Girl is getting married.

She and The Fiancee have put a deposit down on a barn.

Yes, I said A BARN.

Apparently it's a "thing" nowadays to hold your wedding reception in a barn.  Who knew?

The barn, along with the accompanying mansion-type farmhouse, is located approximately thirty miles from where we live.  The wedding has been set for the Spring of 2017, giving both the happy couple and the parental units time to save up enough to cover the costs. Costs that happen to be the price of the entire country of Switzerland's annual budget.

I told Hubster it would be in our best interests to purchase a barn. Or to build one in the back yard. For some reason, he declined the latter idea.

In addition, there are costs for the lights, heaters (if needed), a tent to add to the back of the barn for the DJ or band, the sound system, the golf cart to transport people from the wedding site to the barn, the chairs, tables, and linens, and a partridge in a pear tree. Because when you sign on the dotted line, you get the barn. No extras - just the barn. If you want extras like lights, you pay more.

The mother of The Fiancee said we had best be on good behavior while we were there, lest the owner charged us for the use of the gravel on the driveway.

I high-fived her at that remark.

They saw these starry-eyed kids coming a mile off.

There will apparently be an open bar at the reception, which The Mother is financing. She is also paying for an additional night's rental at the property, so those who imbibe too much will not drive. Because of the alcohol, there will be both a bartender and security guard to hire.

And the cost just keeps on mounting.

The Girl and I went for a preliminary dress hunt Saturday. She made me tear up when I saw her in the first of three dresses she tried on. Since we didn't have an appointment for a real session, we left after the third.


Then there are the flowers, the gifts for the attendants, the caterer, the music, the sparklers, the table decorations, and untold other items which will pop up as we go along.


I may have mentioned the romance and excitement of elopement at some point in the conversation.

Or not.

I did tell The Girl if she got married in a barn, she should give birth in a barn as well. That way, when her children misbehave she could legitimately yell at them, "WERE YOU BORN IN A BARN???" The hospital will probably cost less, anyway.

She was not amused.

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