Diving Into Jello Headfirst

I'm much too lazy and much too ignorant to invent it myself, but I do wish someone would come up it.

You know, that hot, jello-ish consistency liquid that you could just dive into?  The stuff that would attach itself to all your aching joints and muscles while letting you float your cares away.  It wouldn't get stuck in your hair, under your nails, or in other unmentionable places, but would instead drip completely off of you if you should ever decide to leave the comfort of its embrace.  It would pillow you in warmth, suspending you in its healing, sweet-smelling balm until every care and pinch of pain wafted away.  It would be anti-bacterial, anti-fungal, antibiotic, anti-war, anti-stress and anti-inflammatory.  It would be like dipping seven times in the river Jordan, only much more enjoyable.

So would one of you geniuses hurry up and invent it, please?  There are those of us who are tired of waiting....