Tuesday, February 09, 2010

You Know I'm Old When I Post About Heating Pads and Wart Remedies

I am in possession of the World's Greatest Heating Pad.

I broke down and bought it after coveting it for Lo! Many Months at the local Walgreens. It was on sale, and so the huge amount of guilt I felt was slightly assuaged by the fact that I was, after all, saving money.

It is a win-win situation.

However, I must be quick to tell you that the WGHP is not really a heating pad so much as it is a heating CAPE. And not only is it a heating CAPE, but it is a WEIGHTED heating cape, meaning that it lies heavy and warm and comforting upon your shoulders and neck when you need it there.

But wait, there's more...

It also has SNAPS in pertinent strategic places so that not only can it be worn as a cape, but it can also be fastened around certain other anatomical parts such as legs or backs or heads WITHOUT FALLING OFF. And it's big enough to cover almost any part you want or need it to cover.

Except my behind. They don't make a heating pad that big. And fortunately, my behind is warm most of the time anyway, so it has little need for a huge heating pad.

Could that be considered TMI???

The only problem I have with said appliance of the decade is that when it is worn cape-style and snapped in front I tend to go into claustrophobe mode. Don't ask me why. It's one of those queer, hillbilly-esque fears I have that manifests itself in the strangest of places, heating capes being one. And caves. And crowded elevators. And the Walmarts at Christmastime.

So, to summarize...The World's Greatest Heating Pad/Cape - good. Claustrophobia - bad.

Carry on.

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