Monday, January 18, 2010

There Is No Appropriate Title For This Post

I managed to haul my quite substantial behind to the doctor on Monday for the somewhat yearly Yee Haw, Ride 'Em Cowboy! exam.

I know. You are thrilled beyond belief that I was kind enough to impart this information. And if you are my son and you are reading this, you are most welcome for that mental image which has been seared into your brain for all eternity.

But wait, there's more.

Tuesday I took the day off to celebrate my birthday because when it was combined with the holiday on Monday it made for a rather nice little four-day weekend. And on Tuesday I went to finish out the second half of the whole with a visit to the Boob Squishers. This, my friends, is a monumental task for anyone to undertake. As a matter of fact, the last couple of times I've been to the Boob Squishers, the techs have asked me if I have ever considered having reduction surgery.

"Why yes," I have been known to reply. "I do think I could take a couple of pounds off of each thigh with no problem...." Innocent look. "Have you ever had any plastic surgery?"


Everything came out just fine.

I spent the rest of the day doing exactly whatever I wanted. I had coffee and a cinnamon roll at Panera. I shopped for a new recliner to replace the one I have in the office at home with no luck. I shopped for a controller for the Wii at the Walmarts, where there were still none to be had. I was wasteful and splurgeful and eccentric and went to the beauty school and had them massage my head, wash and blow-dry my hair for $6. I bought a Route 44 iced tea with lime at Sonic. I got a new collander, a round brush and a bag of trail mix at Big Lots.

Oh yes, it was a magical day. And then I went home.

Later that evening we finally went out for my birthday dinner since there was a veritable blizzard the original date of the event. I wanted to go to Bonefish Grill, but knowing Hubster didn't care for fish I named Longhorn Steakhouse as my choice.

"Great!" he said. "So glad to know we're going to Texas Roadhouse!"

"Um, I thought I said Longhorn?"

"Yes, but I have gift certificates for Texas Roadhouse. They both have steak."

"But at Longhorn, you don't have to sit on a saddle and yell 'YEE HAW!!!' and get all embarrassed by everyone in the place just because you're celebrating your birthday. And if we go there I'm not sitting on ANYONE'S saddle. And I get to order PRIME RIB. Plus, I get to drink a pina colada."


And so we did.

So ended my day, and consequently, this post.

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