Saturday, August 01, 2009

A Saturday Rant Rated Pee Gee

I tend to pee. Urinate, for those of you with more delicate psyches. #1 for you kiddos. Make water, for the Driving Miss Daisy fans in the audience.

You get the idea.

And when I drink a lot of liquids (not necessarily alcoholic), I pee more. My husband thinks I pee all the time, at the drop of a hat. He thinks I should be named I. P. Freely.

I do not find this humorous.

This morning Sis and I met at Mom's as is our habit. I consumed approximately a quart of coffee while we were there. Right before we left Sis was occupying the bathroom, and I didn't want her to wait on me to lock up the house, so we both left at the same time. She headed home and I headed to Target.

Long about the shampoo aisle in Chez Target, I felt the unmistakeable urge. (More than you want to know, I'm sure, but hang in there.) I found a restroom marked "Unisex" next to the pharmacy and hurried in to do my business. Apparently I was in too much of a hurry, because I didn't look before I sat. Nor did I cover the seat with toilet paper as I had been trained to do by Mom. And there weren't any seat protectors available.

And you can guess what I sat in.

It was wet, but it wasn't water.

I did not find this humorous, either.

And I can hear the collective "EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWW!!!!!" from around the globe as you read this.

I finished up and went to the sink and SCRUBBED the areas affected, my hands, and anything else that might have come in contact with ... well, ANYTHING. I took soap and paper towels and wiped off the seat, then washed myself again, all the while thinking, "YUCKYUCKYUCK!!!!" over and over again.

So my rant is this: WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND LEAVES A PUBLIC RESTROOM IN THAT SHAPE??? Is there no common courtesy in this world? Did mothers not bring up their girl children to at least clean up after themselves if they pee on the seat? Are boy children not raised to lift the seat first before peeing all over it??? And if was a child's pee, why can't the mom or dad clean up after them?

Let's GET REAL HERE, people!!! Take responsibility!! Flush after you go, and if it doesn't go down, FLUSH AGAIN. How hard are these principles to follow???


(Wiping sweat from brow, calming labored breathing, stepping down from soap box.)

And now, if you'll excuse me, I need to use the restroom. Here at HOME, where I know the origin of the germs.

Carry on.


I. P. Freely

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is hysterical...and has happened to me more times than I care to think about!!!!!