Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Back On The Steroids, Back On The Steroids, Back On The Steroids Again

Or some more. Whatever the case may be.

The weather in these parts is conducive to drowning in some species. It seems I am one.

Due to the above, and due to the fact of the air conditioning going out at work today...

I'll let that one sink in a bit before I go on.

THE AIR CONDITIONING WENT OUT AT WORK TODAY. In 99 degree heat and 50% humidity, with a meeting of the Advisory Board on the top floor.

Oh, it was pleasant.

Anyway, due to that, and due to the wonderful ozone alert we've been under, and due to the moon being in whatever phase it is, and due to the fact that I haven't been drinking enough water, and due to the fact that I am retaining water water retainer, I found myself in the unenviable position of being unable to breathe at the office today. This after a full breathing treatment cocktail of albuterol and atrovent with a coffee chaser.

So I called my MOST wonderful Lung Doctress, and casually mentioned my lack of oxygenation. She suggested the ER again. I politely declined, being as I knew the cost of such a visit, and countered with a visit to her. She saw my visit to her and raised it by telling me I had to be there in 30 minutes. I called and told her I'd be there in 20.

And I won. But we weren't through playing yet.

When I arrived and she got a look at the state of the lung-ature, she gave me two choices. 1) haul my quite substantial butt into the hospital next door for a couple of days or b) get a massive shot of steroidal substances and start over on the steroid pill course I was taking in order to try to get a handle on things. Of course, if b) didn't work by Friday, she reserved the right to call out the National Guard to hunt me down like the unbreathing dog I would be and force me into 1) the hospital next door.

I chose what was behind door B.

Dear Mandi, the Nurse With The Needle, came in and buried it in my behind and I took my leave. It remains to be seen what will happen over the next couple of days.

But I now have a note that says,

"Dear Boss:

This Momma Don't Do Hot. No AC, No Workie.


Lung Doctress"

I'm NEVER changing doctors.


Linds said...

Are you ok?? I worry about you, Chris.

Chris said...

Not to worry, m'dear. All is routine. If you'll remember, this blight comes on about once in the hot weather like this and again in the cooler weather. Although I can't remember it being this bad for a while, I'm confident in its demise.

Tra la tra la tra la!