When The Girl was little, every time she wanted to express a great length of time in either the future or the past, she would call it a "yon day" (long day). For instance, when she started telling a story it wasn't, "Once upon a time...", but "A yon, yon day ago..."
This season of grief over Mom is taking a yon day.
I finally got used to wearing her wedding rings, but the only way I was able to do it without feeling sad every time I looked at them was to turn them upside down - with the wedding band on top. I know, it's weird. I know, I could have taken them off altogether. But somehow I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it, because I WANT to wear them, and the stupid grief thing wasn't going to stop me.
Only here's what it has done. It's made my stomach a mess.
I know what the problem is. I can't stand coming to the end of dismantling Mom's house. I even backed out of the usual Saturday meeting Sis and I have this past weekend because I couldn't face getting that much closer to the end. And when it comes down to having a sale of her remaining things, I may just sit in a corner and babble incoherently. People can watch and say, "Poor thing, you know she never was quite right...." I may even drool a little for effect.
In the meantime, I will buck up and follow through, doing what has to be done. I'll deal with the fallout after the job is complete, because I will NOT leave Sis in the lurch just because I'm some namby-pamby who can't handle it. I am strong, I am capable, I am an overcomer, and I SHALL OVERCOME!!!
In the meantime, please pass the Tums, because this could take a yon, yon day.