Thursday, May 01, 2008

In Which the Rodential Population Suffers Yet Another Loss

It's been lonely around here since Joe met his demise. We've been missing the little fellow so! The lack of his little "deposits" and nightly runs, not to mention that lovely gnawing sound, have left a gaping hole in our daily life.

One we used to bury his successor.

Yes, we had yet another "little friend" of Joe's that was bunking in our house. Funny, I don't recall Joe asking for permission for anyone to sleep over. This one decided to come out and play with us a couple of nights after Joe met his maker. I guess he was lonely.

And when I say "he" I am saying it with the utmost optimism and prayerful fervency, hoping against hope that The Lord God Almighty will have seen fit to rescue us from female infestation. Because the mouse-type beings? They multiply like rabbits.

Only worse.

So I'm sitting there with my feet up on the desk, typing away, when I see the varmint run across the rug in the office, between the bookcase and the computer tower next to the desk. Hubster was already in bed and The Girl was sitting at her little computer desk close to me. Being the ever-resourceful person I am, I stayed right where I was, grabbed the phone, and called Hubster on his cell with pleas to COME DOWNSTAIRS RIGHT NOW AND GET THIS MOUSE BEFORE I GO STARK RAVING MAD FROM HAVING TO DEAL WITH IT.

He laughed as he came downstairs and shanghaied The Boy to assist him. In the meantime, The Girl had taken a chair from the kitchen and was standing on it, shining a flashlight on the "poor thing," keeping a safe distance while informing us of his every move.

Glue traps were placed so the mouse had only one avenue of escape - behind the bookcase, where he promptly ran. Much shouting and squealing ensued. Hubster and son placed traps on either side of the bookcase, confident the intruder would not be able to get by without being eighty-sixed.

But Little Varmint was smart. He used the baseboard and the edge of the trap to climb out from behind the bookcase and BEHIND MY DESK.

I was NOT amused.

Another shift in tactics, and now LV was trapped behind the desk. Or so we thought. After a bit of banging around, he ran UNDER THE DESK AND THEN UNDER MY CHAIR. More shouting, running and screaming.

And I was not the source of All The Screaming for a change.

I kept my calm, Interweblings. I kept my calm. You would've been so proud.

The Boy chased LV back behind the desk, but seeing there was nowhere else to go to get rid of these humans he ran back out again, across the room and under the secretary. Hurried guerilla warfare consultations followed before the Three Great White Hunters (and One Chicken) decided to plant traps all the way around the secretary.

But he escaped again, running into the corner of the room. He was quickly surrounded by traps with no escape possible. He ran, but his back feet and tail got caught in one of the glue traps.

"AHA!" said the TGWH&OC, "We've got him NOW!!"

But they spoke too fast.

As Hubster picked up the trap in order to dispose of the LV, the LV managed to utilize Great Physical Strength along with the force of gravity to free himself from the trap. There were shouts of dismay as LV ran into the dining room, and from there to the kitchen. The Girl, armed with her kitchen chair, had trouble keeping up. It's hard work climbing up and down a chair every time a mouse moves.

From my perch in the office I heard shouting and banging and calamity in the kitchen, as LV was once again trapped and released himself. He ran under the refrigerator but was too scared to stay there, so he ventured into the living room. TGWH minus OC followed, ever vigilant in their pursuit.

And then I heard it.

Three quick bangs, as if someone was pounding a log on the floor. More shouting, then The Girl. "Oh, the poor little thing! You've paralyzed it from the waist down!"

I didn't ask.

Later I found out that Hubster picked up the LV and put him outside where he belongs. Whether or not he recovered I have no idea. I was so very glad to see him go.

I just hope he didn't invite friends in.


Linds said...

My theory is that Joe was actually Josephine. She married, and then moved into her new digs at the Abode of Unfinished Work. They were very happy indeed and loved each other very much. Days (years) passed. Their children brought them much happiness, so they had a few more. And a few more. Heck, just another few. The end.

Chris said...