Wednesday, May 14, 2008

The Forms, They Are Redundant. And They Ask The Same Thing Over And Over Again, Too.

I have come up with an idea that will make me at least a gazillion dollars.

It's called the UNIVERSAL FORM.

It will contain names, birth dates, family history, prescription drug lists, credit card numbers, Social Security numbers, emergency contacts and anything else you want or need it to contain, not limited to your second cousin on your father's side with the big wart on her nose and webbed toes maiden name.

Because, Dear Interweblings, I am sick and tired of forms that ask the same thing over and over again. And I like even less when they ask the same thing over and over again ON THE SAME FORM.

Today I filled out forms that asked my name, address and phone number along with my birth date and Social Security number at least three times ON THE SAME FORM. And then, to make even more of an indelible image on the person requiring all the forms, I had to fill out upwards of FOUR SEPARATE FORMS WITH THE EXACT SAME INFORMATION but different titles so that I would think I wasn't dealing with some people who were lacking any form of short-term memory.

It's enough to drive a sane person absolutely nuts. And me, too.

The forms are the equivalent of me dealing with my almost-deaf grandfather.

"My name is Chris Singer. My address is 1234 Smith Street, Midwest, USA. My phone number is 555-555-5555. My Social Security number is 123-45-6789."

"Eh?"

"My name is Chris Singer. My address is 1234 Smith Street, Midwest, USA. My phone number is 555-555-5555. My Social Security number is 123-45-6789."

"And your name is...?"

"My name is Chris Singer. My address is 1234 Smith Street, Midwest, USA. My phone number is 555-555-5555. My Social Security number is 123-45-6789."

"Could you repeat that for me?"

"My name is Chris Singer. My address is 1234 Smith Street, Midwest, USA. My phone number is 555-555-5555. My Social Security number is 123-45-6789. My name is Chris Singer. My address is 1234 Smith Street, Midwest, USA. My phone number is 555-555-5555. My Social Security number is 123-45-6789. My name is Chris Singer. My address is 1234 Smith Street, Midwest, USA. My phone number is 555-555-5555. My Social Security number is 123-45-6789."

It's kind of like being tortured by enemy forces so that they can find out crucial governmental secrets that only I am privy to, and I'm not allowed to do anything but give them the same information over and over and over again or I'd be labeled a traitor and end up in front of a firing squad. Only instead of hitting me with bullets they'd be firing off the same questions over and over and over and...

Only not.

And then, when I am ushered into the office to meet the person I've been filling out All The Forms for, I am asked all of the exact same questions once again. And so I fall on the floor in a quivering mass of gelatinous humanity and beg them to STOP! PLEASE STOP!

And then they call the people from the mental health area to come and shovel me up off of the carpet and haul me away.

Right after I fill out a few forms.

5 comments:

michelle said...

We have been going through this same process for THREE PEOPLE as we are attempting to get permanent residency status. There is nothing like a good ol' government form to really get your blood pumping. They have us fill out forms, send them in, wait...wait...wait...send us more forms to fill in with the same info...wait...wait...wait some more.

There are a couple of things that really bother me in addition to the points you have mentioned. The first is for the places that ask you all of the information over the phone when you set up an appointment, supposedly to have it inputted and "save time," but when you show up, you still have to fill in forms anyway.

The second is forms that aren't clear where you are supposed to write. I can't tell you how many times I have messed up on a form, where I am not sure if I am supposed to write above the line (with the prompt for name, address, etc. written below) or below the line, with the prompts indicated above. Some of the governmnet forms we have filled out have been the worst. You would think there could be some standard format of boxes designed that would make it clear what information goes in which spot. I mean, we have put men on the moon and yet still the technology of "The Form" aludes us! We once filled out the same form 4 or 5 times, because it was designed in such a haphazard way, that it wasn't clear what information went in which area and we were told the form had to be completed PERFECTLY, or it couldn't be accepted. We kept making mistakes in which line things went on and having to start again. I personally figured it was some kind of intelligence test that I was failing miserably. It was very humiliating to have to keep going up and asking for a new paper and the office was getting very upset with us.

Forms...BAH!

I wish you all the best.

Michelle www.northofthe49.com

Sean said...

You can add the Google toolbar to your Web browser. It contains an Autofill button and stores a lot of the common information that you need to fill out forms...

Just sayin'.

HeyJules said...

Sean, be nice to your mother. LOL

Chris said...

Thanks, Jules.

Michelle, I feel for you.

And Sean? It's hard to take Google with you to the office where you have to fill out the forms. Seems it doesn't come in pens. Go figure.

Susanne said...

That's beuracracy for you. Could you get away with writing a big "DITTO" across each page? Naa, probably not.