The Forms, They Are Redundant. And They Ask The Same Thing Over And Over Again, Too.

I have come up with an idea that will make me at least a gazillion dollars.

It's called the UNIVERSAL FORM.

It will contain names, birth dates, family history, prescription drug lists, credit card numbers, Social Security numbers, emergency contacts and anything else you want or need it to contain, not limited to your second cousin on your father's side with the big wart on her nose and webbed toes maiden name.

Because, Dear Interweblings, I am sick and tired of forms that ask the same thing over and over again. And I like even less when they ask the same thing over and over again ON THE SAME FORM.

Today I filled out forms that asked my name, address and phone number along with my birth date and Social Security number at least three times ON THE SAME FORM. And then, to make even more of an indelible image on the person requiring all the forms, I had to fill out upwards of FOUR SEPARATE FORMS WITH THE EXACT SAME INFORMATION but different titles so that I would think I wasn't dealing with some people who were lacking any form of short-term memory.

It's enough to drive a sane person absolutely nuts. And me, too.

The forms are the equivalent of me dealing with my almost-deaf grandfather.

"My name is Chris Singer. My address is 1234 Smith Street, Midwest, USA. My phone number is 555-555-5555. My Social Security number is 123-45-6789."

"Eh?"

"My name is Chris Singer. My address is 1234 Smith Street, Midwest, USA. My phone number is 555-555-5555. My Social Security number is 123-45-6789."

"And your name is...?"

"My name is Chris Singer. My address is 1234 Smith Street, Midwest, USA. My phone number is 555-555-5555. My Social Security number is 123-45-6789."

"Could you repeat that for me?"

"My name is Chris Singer. My address is 1234 Smith Street, Midwest, USA. My phone number is 555-555-5555. My Social Security number is 123-45-6789. My name is Chris Singer. My address is 1234 Smith Street, Midwest, USA. My phone number is 555-555-5555. My Social Security number is 123-45-6789. My name is Chris Singer. My address is 1234 Smith Street, Midwest, USA. My phone number is 555-555-5555. My Social Security number is 123-45-6789."

It's kind of like being tortured by enemy forces so that they can find out crucial governmental secrets that only I am privy to, and I'm not allowed to do anything but give them the same information over and over and over again or I'd be labeled a traitor and end up in front of a firing squad. Only instead of hitting me with bullets they'd be firing off the same questions over and over and over and...

Only not.

And then, when I am ushered into the office to meet the person I've been filling out All The Forms for, I am asked all of the exact same questions once again. And so I fall on the floor in a quivering mass of gelatinous humanity and beg them to STOP! PLEASE STOP!

And then they call the people from the mental health area to come and shovel me up off of the carpet and haul me away.

Right after I fill out a few forms.