I have just come from watching yet another riveting episode of that epic wonder of what we in this country, however loosely, call entertainment.
Yes folks, I'm talking about Wife Swap.
And really, could there BE any finer viewing out there for the consuming public?
When I first heard of this show I refused to watch it, thinking it was some kinky sort of perverted type of what I'll refer to as "family p*rn." You know, the things most sitcoms pass for nowadays. The stuff they get away with showing during the supposed "family hours" of television.
While it didn't end up being much better in the language department, it certainly did show me how other families live. It also showed me that even though my house may be somewhat of a pigsty, it isn't nearly as bad as other homes. On the other hand, it pales in comparison to some of the clean homes, as does our consistency at discipline and chores with the kids. The main point of the show is to show extremes and happy mediums, and they do it well.
As they say, anything taken to an extreme is not good.
Tonight featured an OCD drill sergeant mom and dad who made their children do exercises for punishment if there was a piece of paper left on the floor, in the front yard where all the neighbors could see. They traded with a sloppy mom and dad who only believed in having fun in the realm of food fights and driveway parties, and showed it by the dirty clothes, dishes, cat hair and feces all over their home.
After tonight's episode I asked the kids if they'd like for us to volunteer to take part in the show. They both said they'd rather be hung by their toenails in the closet.
Well, not in so many words, but I got the idea.
The Girl said she didn't want some OTHER bossy woman coming in and telling her what to do, and besides that, the show would be on in this area and she just COULD NOT HAVE THAT. No. No way. No how. Not now, not ever, NEVER.
The Boy, being a shy, reticent type, simply said, "NO." Every time I asked him why, I got the same answer. Over and over and over again.
Hubster, being the everloving, honest man he is, had his own ideas. When asked if he'd like us to join the Wife Swap team, his answer was another "no" vote. When asked why, he said "Gee, we'd have to actually CLEAN the house....wouldn't we?" When I answered in the affirmative, he answered in the negative.
End of story.
And so, my hour of fame has been rudely ripped away from me. I can't say as I mind. I actually kind of enjoy the clutter we've come to call home.