If I sound a little muffled it's because I can't talk out of the right side of my mouth. It's slowly coming back to normal, but there for a while it was iffy.My teeth, on the other hand, are a different story altogether. They are shouting out loud and clear.
Today I had to have two fillings drilled out, drilled deeper, and refilled. During the course of All The Drilling, it was discovered that one of my teeth was cracked, which necessitated Even More Drilling.
Oh the joy. The utter, unmitigated joy of it all.
First of all, I hate to even have my teeth cleaned, much less drilled. The sound of the drill makes every muscle in my body automatically clench in ever-tightening spasms in anticipation of the pain that will surely follow.
Even if it doesn't.
One dentist I had, upon noticing my death grip on the chair as he was about to come at me with a three-foot-long needle in preparation for a little drillfest, made the mistake of saying something akin to "Oh come on now! Stop that! You're being silly!"
They found him close to where he landed, somewhere in Borneo, wandering aimlessly with a three-foot needle stuck in his butt.
I do believe his hindquarters are numb to this day.
Needless to say, he is no longer my dentist.
You can imagine my fear and trepidation at entering what is, to me, akin to the actual gates of that fiery place down under here on earth. I have this awful habit of making jokes when I'm nervous (read scared out of my gourd) or uncomfortable (read about to pee my pants I'm so scared), and that made for a lot of fun in the ol' chair, I can tell you.
Lessons Learned While At The Dentist
LESSON 1: Do not try to be funny in the dentist's chair.
LESSON 2: Do not try to be funny in the dentist's chair while under the influence of nitrous oxide.
LESSON 3: Do not try to be funny in the dentist's chair while under the influence of nitrous oxide if the dentist happens to have his hands in your mouth at the same time.
Because really? The only people laughing will be the dentist and the assistant. And the only thing they'll be laughing about is how silly you are while you're trying to make jokes that make sense while you're trying to talk around All The Hands and breathing in that gas of the gods.
Honestly, I had no idea a dentist appointment could be that close to fun. Once the gas was on and working, once the numbing agent was in place, he could've come at me with a ten-foot needle instead of the three-foot one and I wouldn't have cared a bit.
Not. A. Bit.
Two shots later the drill went to work, and I just concentrated on breathing in that sweet perfume. It worked like a charm.
Only now the numb is fading fast. Methinks he must've gone a bit deeper than originally planned, because it seems I now have a migraine in my teeth. So for tonight I will forgo touching up my roots and head off to bed with my friend Ambien. By tomorrow my nerve endings should acclimate to the new fillings in town, and I may even be able to chew on the right side of my mouth for the first time in years.
All in all?
It was a gas.
Today I had to have two fillings drilled out, drilled deeper, and refilled. During the course of All The Drilling, it was discovered that one of my teeth was cracked, which necessitated Even More Drilling.
Oh the joy. The utter, unmitigated joy of it all.
First of all, I hate to even have my teeth cleaned, much less drilled. The sound of the drill makes every muscle in my body automatically clench in ever-tightening spasms in anticipation of the pain that will surely follow.
Even if it doesn't.
One dentist I had, upon noticing my death grip on the chair as he was about to come at me with a three-foot-long needle in preparation for a little drillfest, made the mistake of saying something akin to "Oh come on now! Stop that! You're being silly!"
They found him close to where he landed, somewhere in Borneo, wandering aimlessly with a three-foot needle stuck in his butt.
I do believe his hindquarters are numb to this day.
Needless to say, he is no longer my dentist.
You can imagine my fear and trepidation at entering what is, to me, akin to the actual gates of that fiery place down under here on earth. I have this awful habit of making jokes when I'm nervous (read scared out of my gourd) or uncomfortable (read about to pee my pants I'm so scared), and that made for a lot of fun in the ol' chair, I can tell you.
LESSON 1: Do not try to be funny in the dentist's chair.
LESSON 2: Do not try to be funny in the dentist's chair while under the influence of nitrous oxide.
LESSON 3: Do not try to be funny in the dentist's chair while under the influence of nitrous oxide if the dentist happens to have his hands in your mouth at the same time.
Because really? The only people laughing will be the dentist and the assistant. And the only thing they'll be laughing about is how silly you are while you're trying to make jokes that make sense while you're trying to talk around All The Hands and breathing in that gas of the gods.
Honestly, I had no idea a dentist appointment could be that close to fun. Once the gas was on and working, once the numbing agent was in place, he could've come at me with a ten-foot needle instead of the three-foot one and I wouldn't have cared a bit.
Not. A. Bit.
Two shots later the drill went to work, and I just concentrated on breathing in that sweet perfume. It worked like a charm.
Only now the numb is fading fast. Methinks he must've gone a bit deeper than originally planned, because it seems I now have a migraine in my teeth. So for tonight I will forgo touching up my roots and head off to bed with my friend Ambien. By tomorrow my nerve endings should acclimate to the new fillings in town, and I may even be able to chew on the right side of my mouth for the first time in years.
All in all?
It was a gas.
7 comments:
I really feel the pain for you, but oh my, you made me laugh at the same time! What on earth possesss people who decide to be dentists, I wonder?! Mind you, they could make a fortune from writing about incidents in the chair, I suppose! Hopefully the migraine in your teeth will be gone tomorrow!
Oh ouch. Feeling for you. I've never had the gas so don't know the blissfulness of that. But I hope your teeth are feeling better now that it's mornng.
I'm such a dentist weenie that I practice meticulous dental hygiene so I can avoid the drill until I'm 90. So far, the plan is working quite well. I haven't had a cavity in over 20 years.
I would also add that you shouldn't joke with your gastroenterologist whilst having a colonoscopy.
Doc: "You appear to have a flaccid bowel; the muscle tone is not good."
Me: slurring, (and this one one of the very few parts I remember) "Well, you got any calesthenic exercises for the bowel, 'cause I'll doooooo 'em."
Doc: "No."
Sheesh, what a sour puss!
My husband told his dentist when he got out of the army that he wanted the gas before he began working on him. So the good doc tells my then boyfriend to just take a nice easy breath. Jim thinks to himself, "Well, if this kind of breath is good, then THIS should be GREAT!" And he practically inhaled the whole tank! Oh how it made the asst made, as well as the dentist because he couldn't keep his mouth open to save his life! The asst had to work like crazy so the doc could do all he needed.
Then they let him DRIVE!!! I kid you not! Luckily he was only a few blocks from our house so he shows up on my parents front step like he is skunk drunk! He managed to explain dentist...and something else before passing out in our front living room on the couch.
My mom who was so prim and proper, bless her heart, really didn't know quite what to think of this young man. LOL!!!
Oh too funny! Hope they picked up your ex-dentist in Borneo..and sent him into the hill country there, to practise! I've had a dentist like that - took me years to get over his attitude! Good for you for finding someone new! PLUS love the info on getted 'gassed' at the dentists- sounds like MY kind of dental visit. What happens to me, when I get stressed I crack jokes, and they don't seem to understand it's FEAR - not calm confedience causing the giggling!!
Hope your tooth feels better. Make sure you stay in touch with your dentist, sounds like you might have a thing called 'dry socket' - very painful...So..let them know how you're feeling, if you're not better in the morning!
giggles.
I can't use the gas. I had a very embarassing experience. I didn't get silly...I sat there and bawled like a baby. I learned quickly that I will just suffer through the needle!
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