It's Ketchup Time

Ah, the Elixir of the Suburban.

And it's the best way I can think to both coat my fries and let you know what's been happening since The Period of the Pilfered Purse. It's been a busy, busy time.
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Item the First: The Bag-Nappers

The young scoundrels that purloined the handbag were obviously of the Highest Moral Character, as were their family and friends. This was evidenced by the fact that they not only used my credit card as mentioned before, but used my checking account, name, address and phone number to purchase telephone service for one of their relatives and/or friends in the slammer. Yes, an inmate of the Caldwell County Jail was about to be able to make $58.00 worth of calls out on a monthly basis due to my supposed generosity!

Until I nipped it in the bud.

Shame on me. (insert girlish giggle here)

When all was said and done, it was a bit of an expensive lesson to learn, but a worthy one. And LOOK! I got TWO! TWO! TWO LESSONS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE! Not only did I learn basic safety and how-to-keep-myself-from-being-a-walking-target type of lessons, but I also learned a much bigger lesson.

Forgiveness.

Because in the end, I really feel sorry for them. I could go into how I'm sure they don't have all the privileges of life that I do, or the parents that I did, or the education, but in the end all of that really doesn't matter either.

Because they could have very well had every single last one of those things.

What really matters is that I know they don't have the God that I do. And that makes me sad. Very sad. Very sad indeed.
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Item the Second: The Leaving of The Third Boss.

The farewell was last Thursday, and in true Kansas City tradition we had a BBQ luncheon with all the trimmings. Speeches were made, laughter and tears were shared, gifts were given and received.

I told him with all the gifts, well-wishes, and general good feelings about him, perhaps I should get rid of bosses more often.

With tongue firmly in cheek, he said he thought I already did that.

Being the office pariah does give one quite a reputation.
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Item the Third: Return of the Migraine

Also reappearing during this Very Busy Time was my Enemy Incarnate, the Multi-Day Migraine. This one started on Tuesday, and by Friday I'd had enough. I took the day off and went to the neurologist hoping for a shot of Demerol or some other happy juice.

I hoped in vain.

He offered me two options. 1) Suck it up and suffer through while taking the medicine he prescribed which may take up to a week to work, or 2) be hospitalized overnight to have IV drugs pumped into my system to break the headache cycle I was in.

I wimped out and chose option one.

I've been through the hospital thing twice in the past year, and it's not all it's cracked up to be. Besides, there was.....

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Item the Fourth: A Night On the Town

With Mom.

We'd been planning it for a couple of months. We both love A Prairie Home Companion, and it had come to Our Fair City.

Now, before you get all down on me about Garrison Keillor and his politics and religious views, let me just say this: I know. But I enjoy the parts I enjoy and I frankly ignore the parts I don't. And the parts I enjoy far outweigh the parts I don't, so it was worth every penny. And every bead of sweat that dripped off of my head, under my arms, down my back, and many other places I won't mention.

Because, you see, we have an outdoor theater here. Starlight by name.

And it was 437 degrees. In the shade. And 149.5% humidity. In the dark.

And the Dippin' Dots were $5.50 and pretzels were $5, and that's what we had for dinner because they wouldn't let us bring our chicken nuggets in.

Sheesh.

But the show was good, we had bottled water, misters (the water-kind, not the man-kind) and hand-held fans.

And Hallelujah! There were stalls a-plenty in the restrooms! Because, with 45,000 people there, 50,000 of which were women, you just couldn't have enough stalls.

God, as always, was in His heaven and all was right with the world.
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Item the Fifth: Stuffing the Singer on Sunday

Sunday was supposed to be an "off" day for me, meaning that I wasn't supposed to sing with the band. However, one of the feature songs needed a little more umph, so I was asked to fill in. I think God had this idea I might actually try to skip church if I wasn't singing.

Hmmmm......wonder where He could have gotten THAT idea???

Anyhoo, I did both services, then cut out early from the second one so that we could gather the troops together to eat at the MIL's.

Yes, she's 92 years old and still having family dinners on Sunday at her home.

Y'all may applaud now.

After that it was home for a quick nap, then out to eat with friends from across the street who are the legal parents of our psuedo-daughter. She's here during waking hours, so we claim her as almost our own.

Suffice it to say by the end of the day I was all in.
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Item the Final: The Thumb Less Brown

Last year about this time I was bemoaning the fact that I cannot grow WEEDS, much less anything edible. The TWO tomatoes I got off of three plants last year were the size of golf balls, sour, and totally inedible.

I will now eat my words.

For this, Ladies and Gents, is my pride and joy. Barring squirrels and rabbit attack, I should be feasting on ELEVEN tasty tomatoes in the very near future. So far.

My husband, on the other hand, will be eating his hat.

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And so we end this little novella with the story about the Mama Tomato and the Papa Tomato who went for a walk with the Baby Tomato. The Baby Tomato fell behind, being as he was smaller. The Papa Tomato went back, picked him up and set him down even with Papa and Mama Tomato. After the 37th or so time of doing this, the Papa Tomato lost his patience. He went back to where the Baby Tomato was, raised his foot, and STOMPED on the Baby Tomato while shouting, "HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU???.........CATCH UP!!!!!!!!"

And the crowd moaned audibly as they deleted the blog from their Bloglines....

God is good!

Psalm 126:2

Then was our mouth filled with laughter, and our tongue with singing: then said they among the heathen, The LORD hath done great things for them.