A Rebel Just Because

I hate to be told I have to do something.

It doesn't matter who it comes from. Mom, boss, pastor, friend....makes no difference to me. The surest way to get me NOT to do something is to tell me I have to do it. That rebellious two-year-old inside me has just never grown up. She keeps on throwing those tantrums every single time she's told she has to do something, and her tirade is always the same..."I DON'T WANT TO AND YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!!"

In January I joined a weight loss group. Did I do it willingly? See above. The only reason I went to more than one meeting was that one of the other participants told me I could back out after six weeks if it didn't work out for me. Somehow that put the control factor back in my court, and the little brat was silenced for the time being. But not for long. After losing almost forty pounds, I hit a plateau. Although I followed the plan strictly, I could not lose any more weight. Why? Because I would not exercise. And why? Because I was told I must in order to lose...another opportunity for Little Miss to rear her ugly head.

This kid is really starting to get on my nerves.

She affects my life in all areas. Home, work, sleep, family time, time with God and time alone. No matter how much I want to do the right thing, her ugliness intrudes. So what do I do?

I give her up.

Call it Tough Love. Call it being fed up. Whatever it is, it's a hard choice. She's been around for so long that it feels like I'm losing a part of me.

The worst part.

This week I started taking the stairs at work. Today the kids and I walked a mile and a half round trip to Starbucks and back, enjoying some family time, beverages, and exercise. The flowerbeds were weeded, and laundry was done.

I'm sure she'll make an appearance from time to time, but for now she's sitting meekly in the corner. If I can ignore her long enough, perhaps she'll just fade away.......

Romans 7:15 - 17
I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate. But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. (NLT)