My body is that of an actual, honest-to-goodness, card-carrying grownup.
I find pain in those words. Pain in the knowledge that my body is aging much faster than my mind. Pain in the awareness that I am truly not the person I seem to be from the way I look on the outside. Pain in the realization that regardless of who and what I am inside, people will treat me differently because of how I look on the outside.
It's already happening.
Yesterday at the grocery store one of the employees called me "Ma'am." It wasn't the first time, and it certainly won't be the last. However, this was a day I decided to let it be known in no uncertain terms that appearances could indeed be deceiving.
Two of the teenaged sackers at the end of the checkout stands were singing "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt" as they worked. As each subsequent verse lessened in volume, followed by the inevitable "DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA" retort, I knew exactly what I had to do.
"That will be $8.32, Ma'am."
(....Jingleheimer Schmidt, That's my name too....)
"Will you be using your Chopper Shopper card today?"
(...Whenever we go out, the people always shout...)
"And you've saved $.29 cents today! Thank you for shopping at Price Chopper."
(...There goes John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt...)
At which point I wheeled my basket next to the sackers and joined them in a very loud, heartfelt,
before smiling, politely turning, walking away, and heading out to the parking lot with my bag of groceries.
They never knew what hit 'em.
I still enjoy driving with the windows down on a fine day, blasting my favorite music on the radio and singing at the top of my lungs. I love to dance, I love to worship, I love to LIVE my life to the fullest extent. Why then must I be limited by this outer shell and it's constraints? And why must others limit me further due to the appearance of this carcass I carry around, when it truly isn't ME?
A woman I work with is almost eighty. She has trouble hearing, she's had a hip replaced, and there are doubtless other physical ailments she has that I'm not privy to. However, her mind is certainly not as old as her body. As she told the mechanic at the car dealership when they kept delaying the pickup time of her repaired car, "The hair may be gray, buddy, but the mind is sharp as a tack!" This is a woman who is up to date on world events, politics, society, and social concerns. She's far from stupid. If I had to guess, I'd judge her mental age to be around fifty-five. Yet there are those who treat her as if she is fading and senile...simply because of her physical age.
This is one of the great reasons I long to be home with my Father. Home in the eternal Kingdom created just for me, in the brand new, perfect body I'll have. The body that will never age, the body that will be created for one purpose and one purpose only; to aid me in the worship of my King. I can't wait! My eyes will see with no glasses. I won't have migraines. I won't need medications to keep anything from going haywire. My joints won't have arthritis. I won't have to worry about my weight or if an outfit I'm wearing makes my behind look big or if my hair is having a good or bad day. No allergies, no constipation, no cavities, no zits, nothing sags, no wrinkles, no worries, no depression, no hurt, no anger, no despair.
Oh God, it can't come too fast!
But until then, until the time when I can have all of the wonderful things You've promised, I'll continue to live life to the fullest here. I'll make sure people know that even though this body may be failing, this spirit You've given me, this love of life, this mind and heart, are all alive and well.
And not nearly grown up yet.
And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children, including the new bodies he has promised us. (NLT)