Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Of Paper Bags And Boxing Gloves

I am Directionally Challenged.

Which is to say I couldn't find my way out of a paper bag unless I had detailed directions from some direction-giving source ala MapQuest or MSN Directions or How-The-Heck-Do-I-Get-There-From-Here-Dot-Com.

They say the first step to overcoming a problem is to admit it. I've shouted this one from the mountain tops, and it ain't gone yet.

Heavy sigh.

It's become quite the joke in my family. And I'm the only one who doesn't think it's funny.

This past weekend we ventured to a Place Out Of Town, which is always an adventure. We traversed the state to get to a 50th wedding anniversary celebration, which entailed me driving the two teenaged child-persons to said venue, spending one night with my son, the father of Cutie, and his family, and two nights in a hotel.

I have finally learned how to get to my son's house. After THREE YEARS. Now granted, I don't travel that way more than four or five or eleven times a year, so it really didn't take me very long to learn the way.

However.

I forgot to run the directions to the hotel we were supposed to stay at after leaving Son's home. We tooled along the freeway for what seemed like (and actually turned out to be) hours. We looked and looked for our destination, but it played a better game of hide-and-seek than we did.

I mean really...how hard can it BE to find the Holiday Inn???

Finally, we pulled into a bank drive-thru and asked a very nice teller-lady where it was. Turns out we were only on the other side of town or so, and she was able to give directions even I could understand. Imagine that.

So we found the hotel and got settled. And may I say this? The Holiday Inn has a Kids' Suite that was a lifesaver to me. Although the "rooms" (and I use that term loosely because the one the kids were in didn't have a DOOR or anything useful like gags or anything) were small, they were enough to separate us and give us both some modicum of privacy. The Kids' Suite had bunkbeds in one room with a table and chairs for little bitty kiddoes, plus a television AND a PlayStation with free games. Which kept the kids outa my hair long enough so that I could watch some movies and semi-veg out in relative peace. AND there was a mini-fridge and microwave along with the expected coffeemaker. (end of commercial)

Unfortunately, we had to actually LEAVE the hotel in order to get to the celebration. Before the party started, Hubster arrived with #1 daughter and her family. They decided to drive down and back in one day, as Hubster had to work the night before and the night of the party. We all decided to grab a bite to eat. #2 daughter was riding with me. She had to give directions to the restaurant we decided to go to, because I was totally lost once we left the hotel.

She's 15 years old.

I'm telling you, it's a sad, sad situation.

After all of the partying was over and we were ready to leave, I tried to get us back out to the freeway from the hotel.

It wasn't pretty.

I turned exactly the opposite way of what we needed to go. When the KIDS pointed it out, I actually argued with them, believing I was right - for a change. Oh, the folly! They laughed and made fun of me all the way home, and then some.

Pleasant is not exactly how I would describe it.

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So here's the parallel...

Directionally speaking, we're ALL a mess when it comes to life. We have no clue as to where we need to go, because we haven't bothered to look at the map.

God realized how LOST we were, and sent His own Guide to us "to seek and to save that which was LOST," - in other words, US. He gives us the map to follow - the Bible - and the Guide - Jesus, so that we can find our way home. Without the Guide and the map, we'd wander forever.

All we have to do is ask for directions. They're there, and in abundant supply!

Even for those of us who can't find our way out of a paper bag.

For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost. (KJV)

7 comments:

HeyJules said...

I don't know whether to laugh or hang my head in shame because I, too, share this rare affliction.

Drove home from Overland Park the other day via downtown KC because I missed my exit. Again. Like I do every time.

*Sheesh*

The only difference is that I don't have any kids in the back seat to witness my affliction - and for that I am truly thankful!

Carol said...

For me, it's a clear, plastic bag. I can't even see what's right there in front of me half the time. Like road signs. You mean those signs are actually there to help me figure out where to turn/exit? Imagine that!

The kid suite thing is awesome! We'll have to be on the lookout for those next time we travel. Well, hubby will - I'll undoubtedly miss them.

Gigi said...

I liked this one very much and the picture of cutie.....nuff said...Ok I'll add ADORABLE....

martha said...

I could lost in the bathtub. Pray for me, because I have to drive to O'Hare airport at midnight to pick up my husband and son from a missions trip. They understand that this great feat of courage and faith proves my deep love for them. I'm looking forward to seeing them, but dreading the freeway.

Martha

Anonymous said...

I'm glad someone else has this affliction - I probably could find my way out of a bathtub, but I do get lost in Walmart's.

My brother says I probably shouldn't tell people that.

Dorcas (aka SingingOwl) said...

Me too. Foolishly, I thought I knew my way out of the particular paper bag I was in and I did not follow the ambulance that took my mom to a more local hospital. I arrived about an hour after the ambulance...much worse for the added stress of getting lost and going in a big circle not once but twice.

Anonymous said...

I am reading about overland park , Kansas? In 1989 my husband and I were flown there for his schooling for 1/2 wks. I do not remember. So we rented a car. The next day I decided to take the car to the Zoo. I get on the freeway and follow the signs. To make a very long story short, I got lost. So I stopped at a truck stop and they told me where to drive. It was not the directions I needed. Soon I was seeing oil drilling rigs in a field. And then I stopped at this mom & pop store. I asked the man where I was and I needed to get on the freeway to overland Park, kansas. The guy says in a deep southern voice " maam (sp) where your at is not on the map" He never told me where I was. I do not know how I got back to the hotel nor do I know where I was prior. But once I got back to the hotel I never left it again.